I've posted about it before but
The Retro Housewife's post made me want to talk about it again.
Supernanny is coming to my town and looking for families. We are FAR from perfect but there have been a few times that FG and I will have watched the show and chuckle. We look around at our staightened up house, knowing that the kids are tucked into their beds. Whether they are sleeping or not, they are in their beds and we are able to relax and wind down from work/parenting for the day. No, the house isn't spotless and YES the kids do get up for a drinkofwater/hug/scaredofthefunnynoise/changemymusiccd/anotherdrinkof water but it's certainly not the crazed evenings we see on that show. Heck we've seen our own friends have to go through it! They have to lay down with their child to get them to go to sleep. Their child simply refuses to go to sleep. Their house is a mess of strewn and discarded toys. They are stressed whenever they have guests over.
Maybe it's just the neat freak in both FG and I. My mother laughs because when I was a teen, you couldn't see my bedroom floor. Her rule - no dirty dishes in my room. If I wanted my clothes washed, they had to be in the laundry or they didn't get washed. My parents just shut the door because I was the one who had to live in the mess. Now, I make my bed every single day. I cannot leave dishes in the sink (unless they are air drying - that I can handle). I must wipe down the counters. Dirty clothes go into the hamper immediately. Shoes get put in their proper place. Towels get hung up to dry immediately after use. I am sure when my kids are older, their rooms will become like mine and I'll impose the same rules my mother did. Until then, they follow MY rules.
Before we added on the playroom to our home, the toys were in the front room of the house. As soon as my son was old enough to help, he was responsible for putting away his toys. I would say about 18 mo. he was really helping. Prior to that, the concept just didn't register. But I helped him and at the end of every day, before heading up for our bedtime routine, we put away his toys. Same with his sister. Every night, I would have him help put his dirty clothes into the clothes hamper. Once he got a big bed, I made it for quite awhile. As soon as he was able to handle it, he was responsible for it.
Now this is how our day goes:
Morning: DS gets up, brushes his teeth, makes his bed and eats breakfast. Then he goes back to his room to get dressed for the day. His PJ's get put neatly on his bed (at this point, they wear them a couple of times in a row. I don't require them to fold their pjs, just not throw them on the floor).
DD doesn't have to get up as early, nor is she on a time restriction yet because she is in afternoon K. But as I type, she's upstairs making her bed and getting dressed.
After school they empty their backpacks.
Jackets get hung up. Mittens get put back into the basket near the coat rack.
Shoes are taken off and put either on the stairs on by the front door.
After homework, they put it in their backpacks so it's ready for the next morning. I can totally see DS misplacing his and we have so little extra time in the morning. It's better to just take care of it as soon as he's done. If it's library book day the next day, they are gathered and put into the backpack too.
Dinner is a family affair. FG helps me clean up. The kids bring their dishes to the counter by the sink as soon as they are finished and before desseert. DS takes out any recycling that I leave on the counter for him and one of the kids feeds the dog dinner.
We give them a warning time of when they need to start picking up their toys. We have one of
these which I will sometimes use if they aren't motivated to pick up.
I have used that for many other things as well - counting down video game time, dinner time (I have VERY slow eaters!). It's nice for procrastinators like I have to get a warning to kick their little butts in gear!
After they pick up toys, they go upstairs and get ready for bed. They both put their dirty clothes in their hampers, hang up any towels that they use when cleaning up etc.
Don't let me fool you, this isn't all wine & roses. It doesn't always go smoothly and there are certainly protests. Part of these things are considered their chores and they get allowance for it. But some things have been taken off the allowance table. Bringing their dishes to the sink and putting their dirty clothes in their hampers have been replaced with bigger things like wiping down the bathroom counters once a week or vacuuming the carpets and/or kitchen floor.
Another big part of the routines of our day is to benefit DS. Because of his SPD, he does better with routine. He can function well knowing what is coming next. It takes big effort on our part as parents. Sure, it would be faster for me to put everything away and keep it all organized. But the time I spent in years past showing them that if you put the Hot Wheels cars away into their boxes instead of leaving them in a pile, you have a better time playing with them later. If you put all the puzzle/game pieces back into the box where they belong, it's ready when you want to play it again and there's no crying that you can't find what you are looking for. DS has a big problem with losing things. He doesn't like to lose anything so he freaks out over losing the smallest of insignificant items. If he's lost something it's devastating to him. So by teaching him how to care for things and put items away in a proper place, he knows where to find them the next time. Because his motor skills are also affected, it gives him a sense of accompishment as well. He can handle doing tasks that he sees adults do easily or other children do as well.
I also belive I'm benefitting them for later in life. Now that somethings have become routine to them, they won't struggle with it when they are out on their own. I'll eventually teach them how to do the laundry from sorting to washer settings to drying and ironing. I have already started with teaching them how to cook. My parents taught me these things at an early age as well. When I met FG, he was still living at home and his mother didn't let him learn to cook or do laundry. I joke that he simply moved from his mother's house to mine. She isn't maternal or the type that wants to dote on her children. She is the type who just wants it done her way and only her way and it's easier to not spend the time teaching these things. Thus FG is not allowed to touch the laundry and when he has to cook, it's not natural for him.
So while it is nice for me to now not have to pick up toys or trip over toys, it would have been faster and easier for me to just handle it when they were smaller. Now I don't have to spend as much time showing them certain things which leaves more time to teach them other lifeskills. It all falls back on my personal belief that it's my job to raise adults, not overgrown, needy children.
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