Some random Friday thoughts

• FG went skiing today.  Bastard.  If he breaks his dumb thumb again I'm going to just cut the damn thing off with my kitchen shears.  He's had his cast off less than a week! His arguement:  "I didn't break it actually skiing. I broke it because some idiot ran into me and I fell on it."  He's just pissed because he can't golf yet and it was warm out and he had to stay inside actually WORKING all day.  That isn't the norm for him on nice sunny days.
• It's Friday and I'm itchy for social plans.  I hate it when we don't have any plans for fun stuff for an entire weekend.
• Spring Break starts as of 3:00 this afternoon.  I think we are the only family I know NOT leaving town.
• I am working a bunch of extra days next week.  Whoohoo for the paycheck. ewww for shuffling my kids around all over the place and not doing anything fun.
• Next weekend is FG's birthday.  My parents, bless them, are taking the kids for the whole weekend.  I think MIL is going to take them during the day on Friday and my mom will get them from her after she gets off work. 
• FG and I are going away for ONE night.  We're headed to a home design center in a nearby larger city to look for a new entry way light.
• My friend who Feng Shui's houses was here and told me we need a new entry way light.  DUH!  FG and I have known that for years. We hate it!  We have always said we want one that is lower and has the lights aimed down instead of up.  She told me that is exactly correct.  It's our "career path" and it needs downward lighting.  Whatever the case, we hate the light and hey, it can't really hurt right now to have a little goodness headed to the career path!
• We are also going to a couple of our favorite wineries in N. CA.  ahhhhh!!!!!!!
• Sat. for his actual b-day we are headed to a friend's local brew pub.  It's housed in the same building where FG and I had our very first date.  I invited a ton of people but about 4 can come because WE ARE THE ONLY ONES NOT LEAVING FOR SPRING BREAK!
• FG and I had the discussion/disagreement the other night about watching friend's marriages fall apart.  I think it makes us work harder and appreciate our marriage more.  He thoguht it didn't have anything to do with us.  I think that by listening to his friend woe about his ending marriage should make FG appreciate that I am not a bitch like his friend's wife!  She's the one who used sex to get what she wanted, is very materialistic, cheated on her husband and thought she was pg (hubby got fixed, needless to say, he wasn't happy when he found the pg test!), dragged them to therapy and claimed she wanted to work on things while they lived separately, decided to try "date nights" and when it was going a bit too well the hubby found out that she had been texting her lover the whole time they were out together.  Really FG? That doesn't make you a teeny bit appreciative that I take care of you/kids/our home,  flirt with YOU via text message, am scraping and sacrificing and dealing with getting us out of debt, try to make our lives fun and happy and minimally complain?  Really? 
• A guy in the office is trying to get me to watch Food Inc.  When our financial situation improves I might. Until then, ignorance is bliss (and affordable).
• DS's class has been studying nutrition.  I'm quite sure his teacher has watched Food Inc.  He now busts us on every thing in the house that is less than stellar.  ha! This is from the kid who gags on any and all vegetables and fruits with the exception of about 2.  If it will get him to eat better, I'm all for it!  It's not like I want them to not eat well!!  I buy the good stuff, they generally refuse it.  ugh. Maybe now the correlation will sink in.  DS actually asked for lettuce on his buger last night (home made - no McDonald's.  Low fat ground beef.  yes, I do cook 95% of our meals from scratch).
• BOTH of my kid's teachers are amazing.  2 weeks ago today I had a breakdown at school.  I was frustrated and it all just came out.  DS's teacher held me like a mother with a child.  I am still embarassed but she was so kind.  Then DD's teacher brought me a gorgeous calla lily plant to the toystore the next day (Sat.) while I was working.  She said she just wanted to brighten my day.  What wonderful human beings I have entrusted my children to!  Both so kind and truly caring not about their paycheck and getting through the day, but the family behind those children they teach.  I'm still touched and amazed.
• One final note... what the heck is up with all these old women piercing their noses?!  I've seen more older women with these shiny dots on the sides of their noses lately.  WTF?  Now I'm nearly, gulp, 40, and I wouldn't do it.  I am talking about women in their mid 50's & 60's.  Nope. I don't get it at all.

What does life have in store for me?

I'm itchy and anxious.  I have that "I want to do SOMETHING" feeling.  Maybe it's Party-Let-Down?  I have all these grand ideas swirling in my head and can't seem to pull one coherent thing toghether.  I feel like I'm waiting on something.  Part of it is the season.  Give a girl a dose of nice weather after some very long dreary days and it will mess with her head.  We've had such nice weather it gives me spring fever. It's not the spring fever that makes me want to throw open the windows and deep clean though.  I think I got enough of that lately.  I am not a gardener at all. I like to look at things but I literally suck at growing things.  I have several houseplants that I've had since we got married over 15 years ago but they are the hearty variety that are damn near impossible to kill as long as you water them. 

No, I am all jazzed up about helping us build our business.  I want to figure something out. FG isn't on the same page.  Sure he wants to build up the business but yeah, he's had a really rough week on top of not feeling well (the man does not do sick at all).  Having me harp on him about doing more is probably the last thing on earth he's enjoying this week.  Since the ideas are just swirling and I don't even have any true idea what I want to do or how I want to do it I think I'll just have to let them stew for awhile.

I'm also high on the social aspect of life yet down on the fact that we have so many aquaintences.  I miss the high school days of BFF's.  We have lots of friends but we don't have those super-duper close friends that call us and we call them automatically.  Does anyone else feel this way or am I being adolescent?  Do I need to grow up and figure out that my family is what I've got and that's where it ends?  Or do you have those super-duper close friends and I'm the envious outcast in this picture?

While I read blogs in between researching what I can do to get to a better place with both of these issues, I'll continue to plod along with working at the toystore and feeling like my brain is shrinking daily.  What happened to me?  Was I fooling myself thinking I was intelligent when all along I was just mediocre?    I feel like maybe if I took a class of some sort, got more education I would feel like I am doing something.  Actually, I think I just need to do something.

"One step must start each journey."

Busy busy busy

• I moved my Sweet's Party to the 13th of February.
• It made the Christmas season a bit less stressful, it's made January and February insane.
• I'm sick sick sick of being broke. I'm sick of not being able to go to Target and just "pick up a few things".  I'm sick of so much of it.  This getting out of debt thing is awful!  What completely kills me is that it isn't 100% our fault.  Yes, we should have cancelled a few things (like the CC membership) awhile before we did but to have lost tens of thousands of dollars in revenue and have judgements against former clients for that money but not being able to collect is how this all happened.  When our client owes us $$ and declares bankruptcy we just don't get our $$.  FG is working so hard at getting things "right" again without the money we are owed but it's a daily sacrifice for all of us getting there.
• Our house payment is paid, our bills are mostly paid, we have (some) food and we are clothed and clean. Blessings!
• I hate the Science Fair.
• I still want to go to Disney in the Fall and while I'm slightly less obsessed, I still think about it daily.  Thankfully, FG wants to go too so he's got that as a goal.
• Hormone shifts as I get older suck more & more.  My cycle is as regular as can be with a few days of wiggle room here & there, which means I can practically pinpoint the day I will lose my shit and realize I need to start my 10 days of Serafem (prozac).  I can also pinpoint the day my headaches will start (end of my cycle) and I will be grouchy and in pain for 4 days.  Then I can pinpoint the day I will feel like a 16 year old boy and think about sex ALL. THE. TIME. and have my poor husband accuse me of trying to kill him.
• PTA is scary.
• Why do I feel like my kids are the only ones who cannot behave normally at times?
• I am still so up in the air about church and SICK of the guilt trip my parents put on me.  I feel like a hypocrite when I sit in that room and it's not the feeling I think I should get from going to church.
• I have too many single girl-friends and not enough single boy-friends.  SMA is NOT a person I would set anyone up with. 
• I'm hearing about too many marriages breaking up lately and it makes me sad.  Yes, I am 100% annoyed by my husband at times but sometimes I think it's easier to put up with him than to consider the alternative.  I get why many don't last. I really do!  But I also try to put myself in their situation and realize that maybe him not taking out the garbage when I ask him to or some other equally annoying thing isn't all that bad when I compare it.
• FIL's bitchy wife won't come to our house.  Yet, she still wants to take the kids.  I'm not sure how I feel about it.  FG tells me we need to be the "bigger person" which is true but I just don't like the whole thing.  They took the kids to dinner last week and of course, she pulled her usual shit of telling the kids that she was going to take them somewhere that Daddy already planned to do with them while I was working.  I told FG I really think she does that stuff just to undermine us.  He said she just doesn't think and spews stuff.  I told him that if she can't "think" when she has our kids, I don't want her having our kids! 
• I need to bake but have no eggs. What a conundrum!

ugh

I don't know if I'll have any menu this week.  I have been sick, working like crazy, cooked Thanksgiving dinner and today am trying to catch up on all the to-do stuff I missed while working and being sick.  Yesterday I didn't do anything.  Ok, one load of laundry and I re-heated Thanksgiving leftovers for dinner.  That's it.  I decided the only way to get better and be more productive was to rest rest and more rest.  So I did. :)  I'm feeling much better today except my to-do list is getting longer!

We managed to get a lot of Christmas shopping done.  We won't decorate for a few weeks though.  Because we get a live tree, we hate to put it up too early and have any more of a fire hazard that necessary.  And FG is actually considering NOT putting out lights this year because of the energy waste!  I told him we don't put enough out to really matter and we don't run them very long.  Bah humbug on him!  Now the ridiculousness that goes on down our street is a different story.  ENORMOUS waste of energy!  They adjoining street makes the news and the paper every year.  It's cool to look at but really, the entire street of Griswold's trying to outdo each other is a bit ridiculous.  Not to mention the horrible traffic.  We have such a quiet neighborhood and I love that I can send my kids out to ride their bikes without hovering.  So inviting so many people to traipse through the neighborhood makes me uneasy.  At least it's not on our street.

A HUGE deal for me this year, which is probably not helping my Christmas Spirit, we are postponing our Sweets Party.  WAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!  We simply could not pull it off this year either financially or find a day to do it!  Dec. 26 seemed odd but it was the only free Saturday.  Soooo, I decided to postpone it to Valentine's Day, well, around V-day.  So I'll still get to make sweets but I'll have to approach it very differently as far as decorating.  I'm currently taking requests from family members on what cookies/sweets they still want me to make for Christmas.  I'll still do Christmas brunch like I always do too.  My baking will just not be as manic and stressful as years past.  I just can't believe we are not having it.  Even the year I was very pregnant with DS we had a small one!  It's been 14 or 15 years (long time, can't remember exactly without looking up the old invitations).  The only year we missed completely was the year we moved into our first house on Dec. 20, 1996.  Couldn't pull it off that year either. 

Now, the laundry and house and children beckon.  If only my sinuses would tone themselves down.  The swelling is killing my head!

Change

I'm still feeling very unsettled. I'm trying very hard to accept that this is just the way life is now since it has been this way for several months. I'm used to being home, having us all home for dinners nearly every night, having a routine. But that hasn't been the case. This has really fucked with my psyche. I just can't wrap my arms around this new "normal".
So I haven't posted any recipes or shared anything to do with cooking, baking, housekeeping etc. because right now I'm simply staying afloat.
It hit me this morning that my unusually high sex drive has even downshifted. That is bothering me as I do not want any issues to arise in my marriage.
I'm also having some unsettling feelings about friendship. As if I wasn't bagging on myself already about parenting, now I'm down on myself about friendships. So I'm working very hard personally. I'm out of shape, not pleased with many things and trying hard to balance my world.

So for awhile, I will continue to look inward and outward and work on improving the areas I want to change. Seeing as one of my biggest pet peeves is people who complain about things in their life and do nothing to change them, I will not follow suit. I will work toward the changes I want and the life I want and the body I want (probably the hardest for me since I loathe exercise). I see the end result of it all but the process is tough.

Just not feelin' it

Sometimes I consider myself a really good and fun mom. But this week, the kids will most likely have more tv and video game time than ever necessary. I'm just not feelin' the groove of the whole "fun mom" thing right now. So I wait. It's really not fun if it's forced anyway, right?
Yesterday and the day before were B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L days! We had on short sleeves and dresses. It was nice to feel the warm sun on our skin and breathe in the sweet fresh air. Right now, it's snowing. uh huh. Is there some rule that says it must snow at least once a week in April and then tease us with warmth again?
Rain, I can deal with. I understand, it's fine! But snow? pahlease!
I guess the best thing is I have to work tonight and tomorrow night. Both days we aren't supposed to get out of the 40's. That means a couple of things - I won't feel guilty not being home and doing fun outside things with my family. Second, it means that the store will possibly be slow. We're so dang busy most of the time I'm there that I feel like I'm going crazy. It's nice because people are spending money (and helping pay my salary!) and it makes the time go really fast but once in awhile it would be nice for it to slow down a bit. Let me restock the shelves properly. Let me clean the dust off the backs of the displays. Let me straighten the wrapping area. Let me take a breath or go grab a drink and a granola bar so I don't feel like I'm going to pass out by the time I leave the store!
Hopefully I'll have a couple of new recipes to share. FG's birthday is Friday so we've decided to have an open house type thing-a-ma-bob to gather friends. It's really an excuse for me to make some goodies and drink some wine. :)

Menu Plan Monday

We are still getting used to our crazy schedule here. I'm happy to be working and happy that I told my boss I need some extra hours (meaning, I need extra cash! desperately at the moment ugh) and happy that I still like my job. But it's hell on a family who is very scheduled. Poor FG is not used to this either. He needs to figure out some fun stuff to do with the kids. Right now he's muddling his way through. He's not doing a bad job, he's just not really into a good groove of what to do with the kids all day. What's funny is after 8 years of me being home with them and being at his mercy of coming and going alone, the roles have been reversed for short time periods. He is where I was 8 years ago - trying to figure it all out. It's good for him.

So anyway, I've been using the crock pot and making myself prep things ahead of time. I was sick as anything on Friday afternoon and literally lay on the couch all afternoon blowing my nose. For dinner I had some frozen pulled pork BBQ that I had thawed the day before. FG could totally handle that one and he prepared dinner for me. Even changed the grease in the deep fryer so we could have fries that didn't taste like old onion rings :).

Here's this upcoming week:

• Sunday - Maui Chicken* over rice, Chocolate Covered Cherry Cake** (which DD and I whipped up after I got home from work and we played a few games - had to spend some quality time with the kids after working all weekend!)
• Monday - Meatloaf w/ bacon, veggies, apple slices, bread
• Tuesday - I work so FG gets to figure that one out.
• Wednesday - DS's starts up acting class again, FG has his pool league so I'm going to attempt some stir fry shrimp over pasta. FG may or may not get to eat before he has to leave.
• Thursday - FG works. I may make breakfast for dinner with the kids.
• Friday - Burgers on the grill, noodles w/ butter, garlic & parmesean cheese, corn
• Saturday - I work but hopefully I can get some salmon burger patties made and we'll eat those.

* Exported from MasterCook *
Maui Chicken
6 boneless skinless chicken breast or one whole cut up chicken

2 tablespoons oil

14 1/2 ounces chicken broth

20 ounces pineapple chunks in juice

1/4 cup vinegar

2 tablespoons brown sugar

2 teaspoons soy sauce

1 clove garlic -- minced

1 medium green bell pepper -- chopped

1 small onion -- chopped

3 tablespoons cornstarch

1/4 cup water
Brown chicken in oil. Transfer to slow cooker.
Combine remaining ingredients. Pour over chicken.
Cover, cook on high 4-6 hours or low 8 hours
Serve over rice.
Source: "Fix It & Forget it Cookbook"
NOTES : I add a bit of powdered ginger and ketchup to the sauce before cooking.

* Exported from MasterCook *
Chocolate Covered Cherry Cake
Recipe By: The Cake MixDoctor

1 package chocolate cake mix -- devils food, plain

1 can cherry pie filling -- 21 ounces

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon almond extract

1 cup sugar

1/3 cup butter

1/3 cup whole milk

1 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. LIghtly mist a 13 x 9" pan with vegetable oil spray.
Place the cake mix, cherry pie filing, eggs and almond extract in a large mixing bowl. Blend with an electric mixer on low speed for 1 minute. Stop the machine and scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula. Increase the mixer speed to medium and beat 2 minutes more, scraping the sides down again as needed. The batter should look thick and well blended. Pour the batter into the prepared pan, smothing the top with a spatula. Place the pan in the oven.
Bake the cake until it springs back when lightly pressed with your finger and just startes to pull away from the sides of the pan, 30- 35 minutes. Remove the pan from the oven and place it on a wire rack while you prepare the glaze.
For the glaze, place the sugar, butter and milk in a small saucepan over medium-low heat and cook, stirring constantly, until the mixture comes to a boil. Boil, stirring constantly, for 1 minute. Remove the pan from the heat and stir in the chocolate chips. When the chips have melted and the glaze is smooth, pour it over the warm cake so that it covers the entire surface. The glaze will be thin but witll firm up. Cool the cake for 20 minutes more before cutting it into squares and serving.

NOTES : Store this cake, covered in aluminum foil, at room temperature for up to 5 days or in the refrigerator for up to 1 week. Or freeze the cake, wrapped in foil, for up to 6 months. Thaw the cake overnight on the counter before serving.

On a side note, and this really deserves it's own post... we had to put down our sweet old dog this past Tuesday. It's been a really rough week for all of us. I still cry and miss him. Our other dog, who has been with our other one since she was 5 weeks old is really really lost. So she's getting lots of extra attention. She's in the house if anyone is home during the day. We also realized she's been eating double for who knows how long. She's FAT! So she will be getting diet food now and lots of walks. I miss my big baby though. It's been hard to sleep at night because he's been sleeping in our room for 12 1/2 years. I miss the smell of him and hearing him breathe and grumble at night. He was our first "baby" when FG and I had only been married a couple of years and bought our first house. This is also the kids first experience with a family member dying. They keep saying how much they miss him too. It's sooo hard to look in the backyard and not see him laying in the sun or hear him barking at someone walking along the fence. My heart is a little broken right now and it's going to take awhile to heal.

Shopping & wrapping - DONE!

I finished today. Yahoo!!!!
Tomorrow - the kids and I are going to tackle making the notecards I planned to make & give to MIL, SIL & FIL's wife. Send me patience vibes.

I'm sooo thankful I get to sleep in.

DD is being a mean little shit. I had to hear all about it from my parents about how awful she is. Great. Thanks. I can't do much more than I am doing now. I tell her how words hurt, she needs to think about how others feel and how she would feel if someone said things to her like she does to others, remind her to be nice... blah blah blah. Fact is, she's four, she's opinionated and she's excited for the holiday approaching. Everyone but me has forgotten that DS went through this SAME thing at roughly the same age. Why am I the only one to remember how awful he could be?

I need to find that elusive happiness again

I don't even know where to start. I know I'm not alone in the fact I'm not looking forward to this holiday season. FG is just worried and stressed. That makes me worried and stressed. That makes both of us snap at each other and the kids more than, well, more than we should at all. It's not pretty. I hate this. I hate this struggling. I keep reminding myself that we are lucky ones. We have our home, we have food, we have warmth, we have each other. Only so much reminding works though. There's the constant struggle of exactly where and how to spend the little money we have. I went to the store yesterday to do the shopping for Thanksgiving. The pricier turkeys were calling me but I opted for the super cheap one. We're feeding a lot of people again (there will be 11 of us this year - I've put my foot down on SMA bringing any more "dates" because I'm done with a 40 year old acting like a 16 year old but that's an entire other post). I've asked that they bring things. The controlling part of me is uncomfortable with that. But I have to let go because we simply cannot do it all. Anyway, I managed to get a 17+ pound turkey for $4.88. My store has a great deal where if you spend over $50 you get the turkey for $.23 or something per pound. Crazy huh?
After that, I'm not looking forward to the holiday season. I feel like I can't get my children the things they want and that really bums me out. I need to find something for FG from the kids because the lessons of giving shouldn't go away because we can't afford the pricy presents. I'm at a loss with him anyway but even finding something for the kids to make him is a tough one!
Speaking of that, we are planning on making lots of presents. I feel like I'm running out of time though. I have to get ready for our annual holiday party AFTER hosting Thanksgiving. Ugh. Way too much to do! But I am planning on having the kids help me make notecards with stamps for some family and I'll do some beading and make some jewelry for family and friends. Neither of those really apply to Daddy.
I dread the thought of even buying a Christmas tree this year. Damn those things can get expensive. We'll be getting a smaller one, I know that much. I'm cutting back on the amount of sweets I make for our party and beyond. Presents will be few. It all puts a big damper on the holiday to have so much stress in our lives.
There are few people that seem to be either oblivious or they simply are not affected by the economy. They continue to spend and buy. It amazes me I guess because the majority of people I know are struggling. All extras have been cut out. Shopping for anything beyond essentials and necessities has ceased. So when I read and hear things from these people who are still buying up things it now throws me for a loop.
How have you been affected? Is it just that I have so many friends who are independent business people that they are hit a bit harder because they, like us, do not get a "regular paycheck"? Even still, people I know who get a regular salary are not getting their bonuses this year or the rising cost of everything has made their dollar go less far. Has it hit you and how are you dealing with it? What have you cut out that has made it easier to get through this? Finally, do you have hope that this will soon turn around? Someone told me this weekend that they don't see it getting any better for 5 years. I'm wondering if they voted Republican.

La de dahhhh

Oh I'm bored! I could be doing lots of things but none of them seem overly exciting right now. I've been in a funk lately. With a Capital F. No wall unit (boo hoo!), no granite counters (yet, FG says "it's not over."), no window shade... Wahhhh! All the little upgrades and changes I was looking forward to on our house shot right out the window in one day. I keep telling myself to be happy I HAVE a home because a lot of people are facing losing theirs. It still hasn't gotten me out of my funk though.
I can't BELIEVE we are not going to the homecoming football game today. I mean, really, I can't believe it. I guess I should have been more stern with FG and told him that we should go. He gave me a bunch of really dumb excuses as to why "we" decided not to go but it boiled down to that he just didn't feel like going. ARGH! I don't think I've missed a homecoming game in oh, 19 years. Maybe on the rare instance that I was out of town or something but nope, I've gone to every one of them since I started college in 1989. (Quit yer laughing at the old lady!) Instead I get to go to a birthday party for a 5 year old with a bunch of other 4 & 5 year olds. Whoohoo. And I may have to get into a bathing suit while I'm there! This is the month for ghosts and horror and me in a bathing suit would fulfill both of those instantly.
Tomorrow I do get to go to a reunion with some sorority sisters. That will be fun except I know most of them have kept in touch and I haven't talked to most of them, except in passing, in years. I know, I know, good time to get reconnected right? Sure. I guess so. I just feel like a loser because I am so far removed from it all now. And I have two huge zits on my face. Wheeee!!!!
Usually I look forward to weekends because we have something fun planned. This weekend, nothing. Ho hum. I should bake, I should clean something, I should go read a book or watch a movie. I should enjoy the relaxing. But this darn funk has me saying I just want to go to sleep until something exciting happens.
I shall return a happier person, hopefully with a recipe or two!

Blah!

I have been feeling sort of "blah" lately. Just very unsettled. DH started a basketball team. Craziness! His world has never been exactly steady. Never been a 9-5, little risk or reward type world. Nope. It's been lots of risk and sometimes reward! I'm just hoping that this risk comes with reward too. I think it will. I have confidence in him at least. He's good at this stuff. I think I will feel better when things start rolling along and he seems less on edge as well. He's my rock. The only earthquakes I need involving that rock are the kind we create ourselves (wink wink ;0 ).
Then there's the whole FIL and his wife issue. We simply do not like her or trust her. FIL doesn't see what we do. I said something a long time ago to a friend that was pretty rotten about FIL's wife (we'll call her "L"). But at the time, it was said in confidence to a friend and I didn't really mean it to hurt "L" or even get back to her. I didn't even mean for it to BE rotten! I was making an observation. Well, said (ex) friend told "L" that I said this thing and for 8 months, FIL and L have been stewing about it. They decided to let it go but obviously, by the way it's come out and FIL sat on my couch yelling at me the other day, they didn't truly "let it go". So I gave my explanation of why I said what I said and in what context etc. He didn't really listen to my explanation and certainly didn't accept it. He kept telling me that I should have gone and apologized to "L" for ever saying it. I couldn't get him to understand the "L" was never even supposed to hear it so why would I go apologize to her when I only found out a week or so ago that she even KNEW I said it???? See why I have an ulcer and bald spots on my head now? My kids don't even frustrate me that much! Who knows if it will get resolved. "L" wasn't there for the conversation so DH suggested that we have her come over too and start over. Oh joy. Anyone know where I can purchase grain alcohol? Maybe I'll just jump right to heroin because I am going to need some strong stuff to get through that one!

Another reason for the Blahs is the end of summer. I hate the end of summer. I like fall for about two weeks then I'm over it, want the snow to come so I can ski for two weeks then I want summer back. That's really all the season changing I need. My son is in 1st grade and I worry about that and if the school will challenge him enough. Then I worry if I'll survive it or HE will survive it. This weekend I wanted to strangle him. I was seriously ready to send him off to boarding school until my sweet guy could come home and leave that mouthy, nasty little shit there.
My daughter starts a new preschool tomorrow. She is excited. I hope it lasts! I am a bad mom to a second... I nearly forgot about taking the camera and taking her picture. She's done preschool before but this is a new one and yeah, I should take pics of her every year - that would be nice huh?
And I start work. I'm not looking forward to that either. We always said we would keep the family business "family" and so I'm going into the office tomorrow to do some work. I don't wanna!!!! But as my kids get older, I'll just be doing more & more. I guess my first free day in a long time I would rather go do something fun but hey, sitting in a very hot office with my FIL will be great, right? RIGHT???? DH told me he has outside work starting about 1/2 hour from when I get there. Soooo, that leaves me with FIL who at the moment thinks I am the devil. Whoohooo! Fun times ahead!

Hopefully the blahs will go away soon. I am too steady and routine for this sometimes! I need the schedule, need the structure. I'll relax once we get into a good rythm of school and work. And as soon as we get our first serious investor in the new business I'll be able to settle down too. And soon I'll brighten my mood by reliving my fun long weekend. Again, despite the Six year old attitude, it was a great weekend with great friends!