Update on the last post....

The boy is off his meds.  Turns out it was all in our heads and they didn't help.  In fact, they made things worse.  He was getting angry and aggressive - VERY unlike him.  So we stopped them and he seemed to think they were helping.  So I started giving him fish oil pills but not telling him what they are - just that they are supposed to help him focus but not make him angry.  He's not convinced.

It's been up & down the past few weeks in pretty much all aspects of my crazy life.  Busy with school stuff (THE vote happened and it was unanimous - I'm now the PTA President), spent 4 days in Vegas for the state PTA convention, this week is insane with happenings at school, work has been busy, FG has been busy and the new season of his fishing show is starting up, DD is busy with her social activities, friends and writing books.  I'm impressed with them too - for a 2nd grader, they are excellent! 

That's all I have the energy for right now.  I've been trying to keep up reading my favorite blogs but feel like I've been absent.

I will say I've been cooking some dang good food lately though!  One of my favorite meals has become grilled chicken tacos that I squirt with lime juice, topped with mango/avocado salsa in a corn tortilla warmed on the grill.  YUM!  I also made the most delicious grilled pork chops with a sweet pineapple sauce topped with grilled fresh pineapple slices. Hmmm, maybe I'm just liking grilled food?

The boy with many letters behind his name

Someday those letters will be things like PHD & MD but for now, they aren't the kinds of letters that are impressive.  Unless you count the sheer number of them.

My beautiful son.  He's an old soul who has been around a few times.  His little 11 year old body & mind just cannot take it.  He's tortured inside.

FG and I have fought it and fought it for several years.  We've tried everything we know to do - lists, timers, threats, praise, constant attention, lack of attention.... it goes on & on.  We've yelled, we've been calm.  We've cried, begged, pleaded and things have only gotten worse.

The man-child cannot focus.  Nothing worked.  Things were getting really really bad for all aspects of his life.  He is miserable and feels like a failure.  Grades are ok in school but behavior is not.

I finally broke down and the dr. filled out the prescription.  Yep. He's got ADD to add to the SPD (sensory processing disorder).  The SPD seems to be improving.  No, it never goes away he just simply learns more appropriate reactions to stimulants.  I didn't believe anyone when they told me that would get better but hey, it is! 

We started him on a low-dose, extended release ADD med.  So far so good. No bad reactions other than he gets a little sleepy in the afternoon.  He's focusing better.  I ask him to do a task and OHMYGODIONLYHAVETOASKONCEORTWICE. 

The letters don't end there.
Oh no.  Let's add a few more.  How about OCD?  Granted it seems everyone has a touch of OCD, right?  This kid has it big time.  If he wants to tell a classmate something it CANNOT WAIT.  He cannot concentrate on anything else until said comment is told to classmate.  He cannot go upstairs to get dressed before school until he pets the cat.  The list goes on. 

Now let's add some depression why don't we?  So off we go to a psychologist.  The kid is SO SAD.  He has so few friends.  Kids simply do NOT get him.  He uses big words. He dreams of amazing inventions.  He studies the periodic table and chemical reactions.  He can tell you just about anything you would ever want to know about severe weather, specifically tornadoes.  He would rather watch Planet Earth, How it's Made, Wild Weather or a host of other science shows than any fiction movie like Spiderman or Iron Man.  He enjoys going to sporting events, can't play worth a darn and doesn't care to watch them on TV.  Kids his age just think he's weird.  He's smarter than they are yet school is just not his thing.  They tease him, pick on him, bully him.  He doesn't get invited to sleepovers or birthday parties.  He isn't asked to come over to hang out.  No one searches him out on the playground.  No one picks him as a partner.  The kid is sad.

He had his first appointment yesterday.  He really liked the psychologist.  I did too.  I was STRONG MAMA until the Dr. sent DS out of the room and I LOST IT.  I don't know a mother who can sit there and listen to her son talk about how he's thought about ending his life and the way he would do it.  The kid is 11.  He first mentioned it at 9.  Fucking bitch of a 4th grade teacher.  She let the bullying go on.  I would go so far as to say she even initiated some of it.  I thought we were doing what we could for him up until yesterday.  When I heard him talking about how he planned to sit in the car in the closed garage so it wouldn't be painful I felt like a failure.  We talked to the school immediately when that was first mentioned when he was 9. We set up sessions with the school counselor.  We had an open conversation with him.  But yesterday I felt horrible.  I didn't do enough.  Why is he 11 and he's talking about things he felt at 9?  What kind of mother am I?  FG told me I am wrong. We didn't ignore it. We were as proactive as we knew to be.  Still, I am dealing with the mother-guilt.  All of these letters behind his name and not until he's 11 do I really dig deep.  I've spent years being frustrated and making his self-esteem worse when he couldn't always help it. 

Now I get to go back to the school and adjust his 504 plan to add a few letters after his name for now.  I am confident that one day those letters will drop away and be replaced with much more socially impressive letters.

Out with kids....

Parents never cease to amaze me.  I'm always baffled by parents who bring their children to a restaurant/friend's home who have no children/other places where they have to wait and be still next to you and bring NOTHING with them. 

Let's think like a child for a moment....
"This is kind of a big scary place but let me look around. Oh, that looks interesting I need to check it out, turn it over, explore it and see if it does anything fun. What?!  Why am I in trouble?  What did I do wrong?  I just want to see what that funny looking thing DOES.  WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Parent...
"Oh geezz, just SIT here and be still.  I know at our house you can pull all the stuff out of that bottom drawer while I make dinner but YOU CAN'T DO THAT HERE!   I know that when I put you in your chair at home for dinner, dinner is ready and you immediately get to eat but in a restaurant we have to wait so just SIT STILL.  Gosh, it's just such a pain to go out with little ones!"

So we have a miserable child who has no idea why the rules changed and a miserable parent because they HAVE to get their drivers license renewed/fill that prescription/would just like to have an adult conversation with a friend and not be embarrassed that their kid is a tornado/would just like to have a dinner out where they get waited on and don't have to do the dishes.  No wonder it's such pain to have little kids!

My advice.  I know, I know. The world is FILLED with unwanted parenting advice.  But I have to get it out because I, well, I just feel bad for everyone - parents and kids. 

What I did was keep a toddler size backpack in the car.  Not a diaper bag but their own little bag of goodies.  I kept it stocked with little toys that they only got to play with while we were out.  There were tiny board books, paper & crayons etc.  It changed as they got older and bored with some of the items but it was always just things that they got to see occasionally.  I also kept a few snack items, a small pack of wipes and a sample size bottle of baby Advil.  That bag saved us countless times at restaurants and friend's houses.  My kids looked forward to it in a place where they would otherwise generally be bored.  The snacks helped ease the wait at a restaurant.  The small toys helped make a new place more familiar.

Now that my kids are 11 & 7 they just want their ipods.  Quite frankly, a lot of times I just want my ipod while waiting too and in a lot of places, I let them play with them.  What I have started doing when we go out to dinner is take a small game with us.  My favorite is Spot It.  It's small, contained, fits easily in my purse without being heavy, fast, appropriate for all of our ages and it's fun!  We will usually order, get out drinks and I'll whip out Spot It and we play until our order arrives.  We don't go out often so that's a treat in itself.  My kids, like most, are used to dinner being ready when they are told to sit down.  Even if they are helping with dinner, they don't sit until it's ready so that's just how they are used to eating.  We certainly don't sit down and then fill our plates 15 minutes later! 

When they were little and had the "Elmo backpack"  I got several compliments on the idea.  Now, we get several interesting looks from people as we enjoy our game at a restaurant table.  I've had some smiles from moms at nearby tables as their kids are slouched down in their seats, noses to the ipod or DS screen, Dad with his nose to his phone.  Sometimes, that is us too but I realized that if I wanted it to change I had to start the change.  I'm so glad I did.  And I'm so glad I took that little backpack everywhere.  I still have it, can't quite let go of it yet.  It's travelled to a lot of places  It's still filled with some little things that bring a smile to my face and an eye-roll from the kids.

Monday already?

We went wine tasting over the weekend. We had a great time with friends who joined us.  We drove down in our big car & our poor friend J was a teeny bit hungover.  He neglected to tell us that his birthday was the night before!  Thanks to Facebook I found out so we had a card & an itunes card to surprise him with.  But sitting in the backseat of our large SUV on curvy mountain roads with a hangover was not much fun for him.  He rallied though and we had a great time sampling at several wineries.  They had never been to that area before - it's such a nice little gem!  Better than Napa, I think, which has gotten so full of itself.  This area doesn't charge for tastings, you are generally chatting it up with the winemaker and they are generous with their pours.  We were admiring the grapes on a vine at one vineyard and the owner was over explaining to us when they would pick them, what they should look like, why he was taking off small "new" clusters and tossing them down on the ground. I just don't think that happens in Napa much anymore.  He let us taste the grapes, explained how the seed would be darker when it was time to harvest and told us, "Go ahead and taks some bunches if you want them." 

The kids bounced between grandparents for the time we were gone.  I found out that FIL left DD sitting on a bench in a busy and zero secure place.  He took the kiddos to go indoor blacklight mini-golfing.  Apparently DD got scared of it (because it's such a good idea to take a 6 year old to a place like that! It was nice enough they could have gone to the outdoor one where there would not have been and terror issues. But no, this one is great because it's scary - like a haunted house!).  So I will give him the fact that he was in a no-win situation with the kids.  He hopefully learned a lesson that he can't take the kids to do things like that on his own.  He was going to get it for leaving one kid or the other alone or just simply having a terrified crying 6 year old drama queen with him which would have made DS miserable as well as everyone around them.  So I'm not sure if we tell him we are unhappy with having her sit on a bench alone, by the front doors, or not.  They are fine. They are safe. They had a good weekend.  I think we'll just leave this one alone for now.

But now it's Monday. I have no menu planned. I have another busy week.  I have piles of laundry to get through and it's going to be HOT.  Like record breaking HOT.  I guess we'll be getting a bit more mileage out of the kid's summer clothes and the grill.

Hopefully I'll be back at ya tomorrow with a menu.  As of right now, I've got no clue!

Steppin' up!

I had a little (teary) chat with FG about the kids.  I was open and honest about what I saw and where I saw things going and how much it hurt me.  I think sometimes we as parents get into a rut with our kids.  We get used to things being a certain way and whether or not it's good, we don't even realize what is going on.  So I told him and he listened and I think it hurt.  I didn't want to hurt him but sometimes we have to hurt to get better.  I know I'm not #1 Mother of the Year by any means.  I know.  I hear myself saying things and I don't like it. So I try to stop, breathe and change my attitude.  How can I ask my kids to change theirs if I won't change mine?

Anyway, I have to give FG big kudos.  BIG ones.  He has been soooo much easier on them with his tone of voice and his approach to them.  I told him he "barks" at them a lot.  He's working on that.  I told him he's too quick to get really annoyed and on them for things and he's working on that too. I told him it seems like he just wants the kids to go away and leave him alone and (this is where I really cried) he'll get that in a few years when our son is in middle school and we "lose" him - possibly to the wrong types of kids.  So today he took DS golfing.  He planned to stay with him for the kid's lesson and their 9-hole round but was told to just pick him up in 2 1/2 hours.  A few days ago he took the training wheels and pedals off DD's bike and helped her learn to balance and steer.  Yesterday she asked for the pedals to be put back on. He immediately got a wrench and put them back on and helped her learn to ride.  Success!!!! She learned to ride!  He ran along side her, holding on a few times, taught her to brake and never let her fall so she would gain confidence.  It was awesome.

So as much as I dreaded having that chat. I think he's glad I did.  I know I am.

Parenting problems....

First off, I need to get this off my chest.  FG has been in a pissy mood lately.  Let me tell ya, I'm not overly excited for Father's Day because I don't feel like he's being a very good father.  Awful to say about the man I had these children with but hey, it's bugging me and I needed to get it OUT. 

Second, yesterday was the only day we didn't have something to do since school got out a week ago.  Yay!  Laundry and I decided it was a good day to let the kids just chill and for me to clean the upstairs carpets (minus their rooms because that would take a week to get through all the little precious CRAP they have in there!).  Oh. My. God.  I think I went up & down our stairs 100 times.  I was so dead tired.  All the laundry, changing the bedroom sheets AND cleaning the carpets? Am I insane?!

Here's the parenting problems.... my kids.  Ha!  No seriously.  We (I, FG, grandparents) have to ask them about 1000 times to do something before they listen.  I feel like a hard ass, mean mom because I go from  asking in a normal way to bascially yelling at them to do whatever it is I asked.  It's extremely frustrating.  I've tried reasoning with them. I've tried talking to them and telling them that it can't be this way, they have to listen. I've tried counting things down but damn, nothing is working. I feel like I have to STAND over these kids to get them to brush thier f'ing teeth in less than 1/2 hour!  (and believe me, it's not 1/2 hour of brushing, it's 27 minutes of jerking around and usually making some sort of mess and about 3 minutes total of getting the whole brushing process done).  For example, this morning I made breakfast and baked some muffins.  I sent them upstairs after they ate and started in on cleaning up and putting the muffins in the oven. Their instructions were to go make their beds and get dressed.  It's now 11:30 and they haven't done either.  I've asked, threatened, ordered.... everything short of standing there while they get thier shit DONE.  It's getting old standing there and for pete's sake, they are 9 1/2 & nearly 6!  I'm so tired of being ignored. I'm tired of them acting like neanderthals!  Any other advice?  It's going to be such a long summer and hovering over them isn't at the top of my list.  Taking away privledges hasn't been real effective either.

Present but not present....

These are the things keeping me away from the computer..... I'm not present online but I'm present with my family!

1. I think the schools/teachers pack in a ton of stuff at the end of the year so we all really really appreciate summer!
2. Kindergarten Graduation (FG has the pics and hasn't given them to me yet :(  They are so dang cute!!!) and having a "Donut Date" with her teacher and a couple of friends after the ceremony.  I really think I made two new friends this year in both of my kids' teachers. 
3. DS's end of the year "Teach the Class a Lesson".  How cool is that for a 3rd grader to do?  Each kid had to prepare a lesson plan and teach the class something.  DS taught Paper Airplanes and DD and I stayed in class to watch him.  It was great.  They addressed him as "Mr. ____" and they raised their hands to ask questions.  So cool.  His teacher sat with me on the last day of school for quite awhile and gave me her phone numbers to call her over the summer.  I told her how much I enjoyed being in her classroom too and could talk to her for hours!  She said she would love to get together socially over the summer.  That makes DS happy because he ADORED her.  See below. I'm still a bit freaked out to now have a 4th & 1st grader!

This is DS's picture.  He dumped out a bucket of golf balls we have and he said, "Mom! It'a a miracle! It looks like the United States minus Hawaii & Alaska!"  So he took a pic. 

4. Endless Princess Dress up! 

5.  Good times with good friends.  DD and some of her classmates (Told you she is very tall!).  Her BFF is the one with the blue shirt on the far right.  Yes, her teacher really did rent a cotton candy machine and sugar up those kids on the last day of school!  I painted faces and the kids deemed me good enough at it to "go work at a circus or a carnival or somewhere cool like that!"  This pic was obviously pre-face paint.  I am hoping BFF's mom will email me the facepainting pics soon.

6. Playdates Playdates Playdates!  We jumped right in with one the last day of school.  My sweet friend had me bring over my kids to her house instead of them getting schlepped off to FG's office so I could go to work.  The next day DD's BFF and her brother, DS's 2nd BFF, came over for an entire day-long playdate.  Mostly that was to give their mom a break getting ready for their vacation.  We all know it's tough enough to pack and finish last-minute stuff without two kiddos around!  So I kept them here for the day and we made sugar cookies (I had sugar all over my kitchen) and played lots of wii and dress up.  We've had something going on every single day since school got out. Today is the first day it's been quiet and I'm catching up online, with laundry & cleaning my bedroom carpets.  I think I'd rather have another playdate!

This is the result of all the going going going we've been doing.  Poor DD put on too-warm jammies and was so darn tired, she couldn't manage to do much else but pass out flat!

7.  FG and I also celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary.

8. We took the boat out for the first time of the season.  It ran well and we had a great day!

I am really looking forward to the rest of summer.  We're having an Oscar Mayer Hot Dog House Party next weekend.  That will be fun!  We've got lots of other get-together's with friends coming up too.  The kids are both participating in the community theater acting group that DS did last summer and they have rehearsal 2x per week until performances mid-July through beginning of August.  My Grandma is coming to visit too!

Yay Summer!!!!

This is where we kick it into high gear

I think the end of the school year is designed to make all kids, teachers and parents really really wish for summer vacation.  Wow.  It has been crazy with all the stuff going on!  I found out who DD's teacher will be next year.  It will be our first experience with a large class and team teachers.  She can handle it, which is why her K teacher feels that will be the best place for her.  DS's 1st grade teacher is retiring (sniff!) but these two women are, as with 99% of the teachers at our school, wonderful.  DD will be with her BFF from K and her BFF from preschool.  She's happy.  She's independent enough and mature enough that she can handle things on her own. Even though the ratio works out to be the same as with a single teacher class, that's still a lot of kids in one room.  DS will most likely get separated from his BFF, which as of late, I'm all for.  He's wild and makes poor choices and is entirely too inappropriate most of the time.  It sort of surprises me that his parents - both very educated people working in schools as one is a middle school/former HS science teacher and the other is a middle school/high school psychologist - do not correct him with his foul language or disgusting jokes.  (Found out last night that DS now knows what sex is, thanks to Carl.)  Anyway, if they want to be friends on the playground or get together sometimes, that's ok but as far as serious, down-to-business school goes, I think it will be better if they are separated. 
So the end of the year is approaching.  We have about 3 weeks total left.  DD did her very last K homework packet where she did double digit math and read a book to me that she had never seen before.  She sounded out the words and read the whole thing.  She has come a long way! And she's still only 5.  One of the youngest in her class.  I do not regret not waiting.  Socially, she is more mature than many of her classmates and academically, she is ahead of a lot of them.  *Proud Mama!*  Even DS's homework has been very very light.  Which is good because we're pretty much in Summer Vacation Mode around here....

Remember when I whined about friends? I won't even link to how many times I've stated my pet peeve of changing things that bother me and how I hate it when people don't even try.  So yeah, I went and did something about it.  FG and I let go of the fact that the backyard has some weeds in the landscaping and the carpet should be replaced inside.  We LET. IT. GO.  Last summer we didn't have one single BBQ or friend over with the exception of SMA and he doesn't count.  This school year I made a conscious attempt to have more of the kid's friends over.  So we've been doing the playdate thing.  In that, we've found some good friends.  We've been getting together as families and it's working out well.  Last Friday at our impromptu delivery pizza dinner one of the women/moms said, "The more I get to know you, the more I like you.  I knew you were going to be in my life for a reason."  cue the warm fuzzies because seriously, who wouldn't like to hear that about themselves? 

This is how our things have been the past week....
Last Thursday - brought kids home from school for a playdate.  The mom (same one mentioned above) stayed for 1 1/2 hours chatting with FG and I.  She didn't leave until 7 pm and everything was thrown off for the night - dinner, bedtime etc.
Friday - same woman sends me a text just when I'm headed, literally walking to, the Redbox. "Pizza & beer tonight?"  Thus I backed away from the Redbox and it turned into an impromptu gathering with two other families.
Saturday - I worked all day (normally my Sat. off).  Got off at 4:15, had to be at a college graduation party by 5. In bed after midnight.
Sunday - send the kids off to church with my parents & get ready for friends and their kids to come to dinner that night. In bed after midnight again.
Monday - former neighbors are in town from Hawaii. They are like grandparents to my kids.  We have them over to dinner and invite my parents and another couple.  They stay late because we only see them once a year!  In bed well after midnight again.
Tuesday - work in DD's K classroom making graduation hats (sniff sniff!). Bring kids home, pass FG in the garage & go to work.  Come home from work and there's a group of guys here for poker (I knew he was doing it but I wouldn't have really cared if I didn't know).  Finally everyone leaves and FG and I watch Lost in bed. I fall asleep around 11:30 and miss the end. Hey, at least I was asleep before midnight!
Today/Wednesday - taping our show from our local ballpark.  Should be fun, just a lot of extra work.  Working tonight and then the kids need showers (they have been taking them at totally odd times due to our crazy social schedule!).
Tomorrow/Thursday - meeting a friend for lunch or tea in the afternoon.  Whew. I think that's it!
Friday - 1/2 day of school and it's Volunteer Appreciation that the teachers throw for us who work for them all year.  Then there's a book signing event at work that I plan to take the kids to and get the book for their teachers.  FG is playing poker at an event.
Saturday - work again then COLLAPSE.

Sooooo, you see I remedied the "woe is me, we have no friends" by being a bit less uptight and a bit more outgoing.  Ahhhh. I gotta tell ya, as tired as I am, it feels goooooood!  Also, no new recipes still.  I've been sticking to what I know well given the frequency and chaos. 

I haven't got a clue

for a title, that is.
I'll do a little update...

• FG had a good day skiing.  He claimed he was cautious.  At least he didn't re-break his thumb so I didn't have to cut it off.
• We've been getting the bills for his broken thumb.  Uh yeah. I will never ever go to the ER again unless one of us is truly dying.  Do you know they charge you while you are in the waiting room?  Yep. They charge you for every minute you are there, waiting or being seen in a room.  The ER bill was 2 grand.  For like, 15 minutes of actual service.   Then we got a separate bill for the Dr. yesterday. The ER doc who we saw for about 5 minutes and wasn't the one who put the splint on charged him $400.  $2,400 for a short ER visit?!!! Wow.  I knew I should have sucked it up and gone to med school!  The ortho visit, much more thorough and lengthy and included a real cast with our choice of colors.... $350.  We'll get another bill for the 2nd ortho visit with an x-ray but the majority of the $350 was for the cast so I don't imagine that the next bill will be that much.
• Spring break....  eh.  It was nice to sleep in, nice to not have to pack a lunch for the boy but we're on day 2 and they are being naughty.  I'm headed to work in about an hour & 1/2.  While I'll have to deal with OKP & OPK, I know they will eventually leave!  I am hoping to take the kids to an indoor swimming pool in a nearby town on Thursday.  I'm hoping that some friends can join us.  I'm hoping we all make it to Thursday.
• Speaking of that, we didn't do squat last Friday when I wanted to do something.  ugh.  I hate that!
• I have no idea if anyone will be able to make it on Sat. night for FG's birthday.  He may just get a party of 2.  That's ok but I am hoping a couple of his friends will be able to come and wish him a good birthday.
• I broke the news to him today that I'm not getting him anything for him for his birthday.  I feel bad but he understands.  We're doing everything we possibly can to dig out of this hole and I hate to make it any deeper than it is, even if it's a small amount, I'd rather go up than down farther!  We're taking what we do have and going out of town for a night. I'm hoping that we can relax a bit and it won't be stressful.  I know I desperately need a bit of downtime.
• "Mom, can I....?"  "Mom, I want......"  "Mom! Will you ....."   AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
• I made baked fish last night.  None of our favorite meal but I tried to explain to the kids that we don't always get our favorite meals.  We have to eat what is good for us and that isn't pizza or cereal every meal.  I am so mean huh?

Some random Friday thoughts

• FG went skiing today.  Bastard.  If he breaks his dumb thumb again I'm going to just cut the damn thing off with my kitchen shears.  He's had his cast off less than a week! His arguement:  "I didn't break it actually skiing. I broke it because some idiot ran into me and I fell on it."  He's just pissed because he can't golf yet and it was warm out and he had to stay inside actually WORKING all day.  That isn't the norm for him on nice sunny days.
• It's Friday and I'm itchy for social plans.  I hate it when we don't have any plans for fun stuff for an entire weekend.
• Spring Break starts as of 3:00 this afternoon.  I think we are the only family I know NOT leaving town.
• I am working a bunch of extra days next week.  Whoohoo for the paycheck. ewww for shuffling my kids around all over the place and not doing anything fun.
• Next weekend is FG's birthday.  My parents, bless them, are taking the kids for the whole weekend.  I think MIL is going to take them during the day on Friday and my mom will get them from her after she gets off work. 
• FG and I are going away for ONE night.  We're headed to a home design center in a nearby larger city to look for a new entry way light.
• My friend who Feng Shui's houses was here and told me we need a new entry way light.  DUH!  FG and I have known that for years. We hate it!  We have always said we want one that is lower and has the lights aimed down instead of up.  She told me that is exactly correct.  It's our "career path" and it needs downward lighting.  Whatever the case, we hate the light and hey, it can't really hurt right now to have a little goodness headed to the career path!
• We are also going to a couple of our favorite wineries in N. CA.  ahhhhh!!!!!!!
• Sat. for his actual b-day we are headed to a friend's local brew pub.  It's housed in the same building where FG and I had our very first date.  I invited a ton of people but about 4 can come because WE ARE THE ONLY ONES NOT LEAVING FOR SPRING BREAK!
• FG and I had the discussion/disagreement the other night about watching friend's marriages fall apart.  I think it makes us work harder and appreciate our marriage more.  He thoguht it didn't have anything to do with us.  I think that by listening to his friend woe about his ending marriage should make FG appreciate that I am not a bitch like his friend's wife!  She's the one who used sex to get what she wanted, is very materialistic, cheated on her husband and thought she was pg (hubby got fixed, needless to say, he wasn't happy when he found the pg test!), dragged them to therapy and claimed she wanted to work on things while they lived separately, decided to try "date nights" and when it was going a bit too well the hubby found out that she had been texting her lover the whole time they were out together.  Really FG? That doesn't make you a teeny bit appreciative that I take care of you/kids/our home,  flirt with YOU via text message, am scraping and sacrificing and dealing with getting us out of debt, try to make our lives fun and happy and minimally complain?  Really? 
• A guy in the office is trying to get me to watch Food Inc.  When our financial situation improves I might. Until then, ignorance is bliss (and affordable).
• DS's class has been studying nutrition.  I'm quite sure his teacher has watched Food Inc.  He now busts us on every thing in the house that is less than stellar.  ha! This is from the kid who gags on any and all vegetables and fruits with the exception of about 2.  If it will get him to eat better, I'm all for it!  It's not like I want them to not eat well!!  I buy the good stuff, they generally refuse it.  ugh. Maybe now the correlation will sink in.  DS actually asked for lettuce on his buger last night (home made - no McDonald's.  Low fat ground beef.  yes, I do cook 95% of our meals from scratch).
• BOTH of my kid's teachers are amazing.  2 weeks ago today I had a breakdown at school.  I was frustrated and it all just came out.  DS's teacher held me like a mother with a child.  I am still embarassed but she was so kind.  Then DD's teacher brought me a gorgeous calla lily plant to the toystore the next day (Sat.) while I was working.  She said she just wanted to brighten my day.  What wonderful human beings I have entrusted my children to!  Both so kind and truly caring not about their paycheck and getting through the day, but the family behind those children they teach.  I'm still touched and amazed.
• One final note... what the heck is up with all these old women piercing their noses?!  I've seen more older women with these shiny dots on the sides of their noses lately.  WTF?  Now I'm nearly, gulp, 40, and I wouldn't do it.  I am talking about women in their mid 50's & 60's.  Nope. I don't get it at all.

Searching for a recipe

I'm going to stalk the internet for this and hope that someone out there has already accomplished it.  If not, I'll keep you posted on my trials!  I need to find a good recipe to make my own pizza Lunchables.  DS, my uber-picky eater, hates lunch. 
FG and I learned when he was very young, like before he was 2, that he simply could not eat in a loud restaurant.  He was always well behaved, didn't throw fits, throw food on the floor or scream to get out of the high chair (partially because I never gave him any other option.  He was in a restaurant, he sat.  In. The. Chair.  No opions, no fits to get something better.  Same went with shopping.  In. The. Cart.  No running around.  He had no idea there was any other way to go to a store.)
Enter in The Preschool Lunchtime.  ACK!  Kids! Talking!  EAT?!  It seemed like I packed the exact same thing 3 times a week  for 2 years.  It was a comfort thing for him.
Enter in The Elementary School Lunchroom.  Even worse.  Super noisy no matter how many times the lunchroom duty teachers turned off the lights and told them to quiet down.  The poor boy with the sensory issues didn't stand a chance. 
I loathe was I pack him for lunch every day.  He won't eat sandwiches.  Never has.  Literally vomits with peanut butter.  He has never ever liked peanut butter in any form.  Put lunchmeat on bread. Ewwwwww!  So yeah. I struggle daily with what to put in his lunch. He likes hot food so I got him a good Thermos.  But his all time favorite foods are not good for him.  He likes, and will sort of eat, pizza rolls, bagel pizzas, pizza hot pockets, pizza lunchables (ah, get the theme here?).  I hate it but I pack it because I would rather he eat SOMETHING than go all day without eating anything.  Yes, he gets some applesauce, juice or milk.  But the other stuff, pure crap.
When I had my Ziploc House Party one of the items they sent was the divided rectangle containers.  Holy Awesomeness!!!  It's a Lunchable container!!  I ended up with 4 of them.  FG and I both had the same idea - we'll use them for our boat lunches this summer.  One for each of us!  Yay!  But now, I want to figure out how to make my own lunchable pizza crust.  Since DS will eat that, I would absolutely love to just make my own and use this container.  I'm going to start with my regular pizza crust recipe, use 1/2 whole wheat bread flour and bake them in small rounds or small squares.  They just have to stay somewhat soft but still be cooked.  I also figure this will save me some money!  I can use my own pizza sauce and grate my own cheese.  The container is PERFECT-O for this and DS still gets to have the fun of making up his own little pizzas.
Thankfully DS's class is studying nutrition right now.  It's getting him to eat a few things.  Today I sent a hot dog with homemade "chili" (no beans, not a lot of chili powder. It's more of a meat sauce) in his Thermos.  He told me that hot dogs are one of the worst things you can eat.  No duh kid. That's why I don't buy the cheap ones. I buy the good ones or I get the TJ's ones with no nitrates because ALL YOU WANT IS PROCESSED MEAT!  So I asked him if I could pack some carrots and ranch dip.  "Eww! No!"  How about one of my homemade blueberry applesauce muffins?  "I don't like that stuff."  Would you like a ham sandwich?  "You know I don't like that!"  An apple? "No." I finally got him to settle on some grapes along with his hot dog/chili.  Baby steps I guess.  At least it wasn't pizza!

If anyone knows of a good pizza dough recipe that will work for my task, then please pass it along!  I'll let you know how it works with my regular recipe and my search of the internet to see if anyone else has success with this.

****UPDATE****

In response to Kim's comment.... I'm not sure he would eat pita bread. I may try that or have thought about trying english muffins also.  But I'm fairly sure that my best bet is a tried and true pizza dough.  Then I also have control over what is in it. I just have to figure out how to get it just right to pack.  I haven't had time to attempt it yet so we'll see how it goes when I can spend some time experimenting.  Here's a picture of the container.  I am really loving them!

The great thing about these little "bento boxes" is that each portion individually seals.  The best thing I see with kids is there is less chance to lose a piece.  The only problem I forsee is that they won't fit in a kid's lunchbox. At least not the kind that we have.  It is working great for when I pack up a lunch for FG though.  I called him at the office yesterday and he & the guys were having a Bloody Mary making contest.  Yes, on a Tuesday morning. These guys are bad influences on him!  Anyway, I figured he needed some food so I packed up a container and took it to him after the K teacher told me she didn't really need me in class.  I say Way to Go Ziploc for this great container (and for sending them to me free :P)!

It's the little things....

It is the little things that make me feel like I'm doing an ok job at this Mom gig. 
A big thing happened the other night too.  Poor DS just had a meltdown. I think quite a few things just built up and he let it all out at once.  He so very rarely cries and he cried on me.  We talked and talked it out.  I got FG involved.  DS said a pretty serious thing that made my heart break into a million pieces. It wasn't about me or FG or anyone else but it showed the depth of how upset he was.  At one point during our talk FG said, "Buddy, you are only in 3rd grade.  It can't be that bad."  I reminded FG that while we tend to think of DS as a mini-adult, he isn't.  This is what he's living.  He doesn't know anything past 3rd grade and being 9 so yeah, this is as bad as it gets to him.  FG wasn't trying to blow it off at all, he was struggling just like me with the right things to say to comfort DS.  All seems to be ok now.  I let him know that we are behind him, here to talk to and protect him always.  I'm going to have him go in and talk to the school counselor because he seems to like that.  I sense therapy in his adult life, he really feels better after that. 

Anyway, the little things yesterday were....
I picked the kids up from school. I rarely do that unless I'm already at school.  I don't often leave the house to go sit in the parking lot because it's so small I have to get there early to get any sort of decent parking spot.  (Hello run on sentence).  The bus lets the kids off on the side of the house and they don't ride it long.  I just don't see a big point in going to get them every day.  But they like it, it was nasty weather yesterday and I wanted to see them. I've started working on Tuesday nights as well as Wednesday nights so I knew I wouldn't really get to see them much.  It took some of my "me" time away but it was worth it.

Earlier in the day I had picked up some library books for all of us.  DD knew one was coming - she had been waiting for it since we reserved it.  Instead of just putting them on their beds to find I decided a scavenger hunt would be fun.  So I made up 7 clues and hid them in various places.  Not too long ago, DS made a mailbox and we hung it outside of his bedroom.  We pass little notes back & forth in it (he raises the red flag when he has "outgoing mail" for me or FG to read).  I put the instructions and the first clue in there.  They had a blast!  They only spent about 10 minutes or so reading, solving and hunting down the clues.  They finally found their library books hidden in the dryer with a "Good Job!" note. 
They both thanked me about 20 times for that silly little scavenger hunt.  It was the last thing they both said when they went to bed too.  After I left for work, DS made up one for FG and DD to follow.  So it continued on well into the evening.

Then I made the night of a child shopping in the toystore last night.  Just another little thing but he spent his allowance money on something small while his sister made up her birthday registry.  They were in the store for quite awhile.  All of a sudden he came up to me at the counter and exclaimed, "I lost my tooth!" and proudly held up his tooth and showed me the hole.  Now when someone comes in with a cast on, they get a desginated present.  So I felt we just HAD to do something for this little boy.  We have these little tooth fairy boxes and I asked him if the tooth fairy comes to his house. He said yes. I asked him if he has a little box and he said no.  So I led him over to the display and told him to pick one out.  With big round eyes, he said, "Do I have to pay?"  I told him nope, I was going to give it to him.  He was thrilled.  His father had stepped out of the store to make a phone call and I told him to make sure he told his dad I let him take it for losing his tooth in the store.  I later overheard him tell his dad, "She's a really nice lady, isn't she dad?"

Now I'm about to go do another small thing for a store customer.  She called for the second day in a row asking about instructions for a kit that were not in the box.  Her daughter wants to make the kit for a school project.  I just happen to have the same kit at home.  When she left her name, phone and email asking that the store owners Please call her soon, I told her I would just email the instructions to her today.  She was SO thankful.  So I'm going to scan the 3 pages of instructions and email them to her.  It will probably take me 10 minutes.

All of these little things have made me feel pretty good and hopefully made others feel good. I know my kids were happy with me, I know the little boy will probably remember losing that tooth over some of the other ones and hopefully this mom will help her daughter who will in turn get a good grade on her project. 

Will you do something little to make someone's day today?

Hospitals, injuries, chaos, OH MY!

Well, no menu plan for me for the past few weeks.  I've been 1) flying by the seat of my pants 2) not grocery shopping so we've been eating up everything in the house.  Seriously people, it's getting bad! :) 

Last weekend my dad was sick.  We thought it was pneumonia but we couldn't get him to go to the hospital. Finally last Monday my mom was able to talk him into going to the Dr. and they admitted him to the hospital.  He had bronchitis.  But his breathing is compromised already since he needs to be on oxygen all the time.  While in the hospital he had a heart attack. A silent one that he didn't even know about.  But the nurses sure did!  That led to a couple of procedures to check his grafts from 8 years ago when he had triple bypass.  He spent the week in the hospital and it was not fun.  We worried, we prayed, we visited, the kids looked out the window and were scared and fascinated by all the wires & tubes he had.  DS wanted to go see all the parts of the hospital and would have kept watching the happenings and heart monitors at the nurse's station the whole time if he could.  He wanted to go see pulmonology and the ER.  He wanted to go watch a surgery. If that kid isn't cut out to be a doctor I don't know who is.  We'll just have to wait and see what he ends up being.   Dad ended up going home after a second heart cath on Friday.  He's feeling much much better now too.

Also last Monday a contractor came and ripped out my guest bath and entry from the garage.  The next day our friend who is a tile installer laid some sub-floor stuff for under the tile.  The tile is on order.  Our friend is going out of town and won't be able to do the floor until next week.  In my garage is the toilet, the baseboards, the old mirror that I wanted the contractor to take away and boxes of the new stuff.  It's a tad chaotic out there and a tad chaotic in the house too.  There's a tarp on the floor at the entry from the garage.  It's also where the door to the laundry room is.  My house also smells like "contruction".  Fun times!  I'll post before & after pics when it's eventually done.

Yesterday FG came home from skiing holding his arm funny.  Turns out some idiot not looking cut him off coming out of the trees and not looking.  This made FG crash, his friend crash and FG broke his thumb.  Off to the ER we went after I got my FIL to come hang with the kids.  The last thing I wanted was to drag the kids off to the ER for a few hours - as fascinating as that would have been for DS!  So FG, being a man, is now nearly helpless because he has a broken thumb.  I will give him the credit that is is difficult to do many things when you don't have the use of one hand and he IS in pain.  Thankfully it's on his left hand and he is right handed.  I've had my right hand (also a righty) immobilzed and it's not easy to function.  Yeah, you go around and try to do everything with your opposite hand.  Just try it out in the bathroom girls, it is no picnic.  He needs to see an orthopedist in the next few days and see what we need to do from there.  It's apparently an injury/break that is very easy to re-injure if it's not fixed correctly.  Yay! More bills!

DS has a biography report due at the end of this week.  It consists of a written report, an oral report and props - either costume, item or a poster.  Yay! LOVE 3rd grade and having the hardest teacher in the school!  Actually it's good for him, he just gets overwhelmed and not sure where to start and his spelling is awful.  So he needs a lot of guidance on these things.  I won't do it for him but I will help him and guide him.  I guess I did sign up for this parent gig huh?

Wish me luck ladies.  I think I'm gonna need it.  I'm actually quite surprised I have held up as well as I have this past week.  It's been very very stressfull.  I only broke down once in sobs.

Busy busy busy

• I moved my Sweet's Party to the 13th of February.
• It made the Christmas season a bit less stressful, it's made January and February insane.
• I'm sick sick sick of being broke. I'm sick of not being able to go to Target and just "pick up a few things".  I'm sick of so much of it.  This getting out of debt thing is awful!  What completely kills me is that it isn't 100% our fault.  Yes, we should have cancelled a few things (like the CC membership) awhile before we did but to have lost tens of thousands of dollars in revenue and have judgements against former clients for that money but not being able to collect is how this all happened.  When our client owes us $$ and declares bankruptcy we just don't get our $$.  FG is working so hard at getting things "right" again without the money we are owed but it's a daily sacrifice for all of us getting there.
• Our house payment is paid, our bills are mostly paid, we have (some) food and we are clothed and clean. Blessings!
• I hate the Science Fair.
• I still want to go to Disney in the Fall and while I'm slightly less obsessed, I still think about it daily.  Thankfully, FG wants to go too so he's got that as a goal.
• Hormone shifts as I get older suck more & more.  My cycle is as regular as can be with a few days of wiggle room here & there, which means I can practically pinpoint the day I will lose my shit and realize I need to start my 10 days of Serafem (prozac).  I can also pinpoint the day my headaches will start (end of my cycle) and I will be grouchy and in pain for 4 days.  Then I can pinpoint the day I will feel like a 16 year old boy and think about sex ALL. THE. TIME. and have my poor husband accuse me of trying to kill him.
• PTA is scary.
• Why do I feel like my kids are the only ones who cannot behave normally at times?
• I am still so up in the air about church and SICK of the guilt trip my parents put on me.  I feel like a hypocrite when I sit in that room and it's not the feeling I think I should get from going to church.
• I have too many single girl-friends and not enough single boy-friends.  SMA is NOT a person I would set anyone up with. 
• I'm hearing about too many marriages breaking up lately and it makes me sad.  Yes, I am 100% annoyed by my husband at times but sometimes I think it's easier to put up with him than to consider the alternative.  I get why many don't last. I really do!  But I also try to put myself in their situation and realize that maybe him not taking out the garbage when I ask him to or some other equally annoying thing isn't all that bad when I compare it.
• FIL's bitchy wife won't come to our house.  Yet, she still wants to take the kids.  I'm not sure how I feel about it.  FG tells me we need to be the "bigger person" which is true but I just don't like the whole thing.  They took the kids to dinner last week and of course, she pulled her usual shit of telling the kids that she was going to take them somewhere that Daddy already planned to do with them while I was working.  I told FG I really think she does that stuff just to undermine us.  He said she just doesn't think and spews stuff.  I told him that if she can't "think" when she has our kids, I don't want her having our kids! 
• I need to bake but have no eggs. What a conundrum!

Probably the last post of the decade

It very well may be the last post because my kids are home from school and driving me crazy.  The house is driving me crazy too. And the f'ing snow.  Why did FG buy a Mini again?  Oh yeah because it gets great gas mileage.  But it is a freaking go-cart and when we have a few inches of snow, he doesn't want to drive it!

Overall, our Christmas was GREAT!  FG spoiled me as he usually does.  I felt inadequate because I can never do for him what I want to do or even come close to equalling how he spoils me.  So instead, I give him what he tells me every guy really wants. (wink wink).  And I wash his clothes, make good food, keep his kids happy & healthy (for the most part) and the house clean (again, for the most part).  But I went and bought some new clothes and now I'm sitting here in stretch pants and a long sweater that covers my ass.  I have my tall black boots on too.  Hmmm, I seem to remember doing this once before. Oh yeah, the 80's! Now I remember!  Gawd I can't believe I bought stretch pants and long sweaters.  Where's my Aqua Net?  My bangs are a bit flat and I don't have those wing things sticking out over my ears. I'm also 25 years older than I was too and have two kids in my living room.

Speaking of those two kids.  DS got about 2000 Lego pieces. I'm NOT kidding.  DD got about 200 little Barbie pieces.  I'm NOT kidding.  Now my challenge is storage.  We got DD a pink plastic tub. She was happy with that because it's pink but I feel bad that we have to toss all the furniture etc. into it and she has to drag it out and set it up to play with it.  But the Barbie Dream House is not in the budget. I'll keep watching Craigslist and take one off someone's hands. 

Yesterday I had one kid playing one video game system in one room and the other kid playing another video game system in another room.  Can you say "Slacker Mom"?  It did allow me to get the house de-Christmas'd of everything besides the tree.  FG needs to help with that.  I also got all the laundry done (thus sitting here in my new clothes!) AND I made dinner, which is something I haven't done lately.   Now I have two kids in their PJ's at nearly 11 am shaking the house playing the Wii.  That's fine. It's cold as a witches tit outside (I had a boss who used that saying regularly.  Weird) and snowy and gloomy and grey. At least they are moving even if their jumping is making my computer monitor wiggle.  I'll eventually make them get dressed because we're going with my dad to see Alvin & The Chipmunks this afternoon. 

My parents got FG and I a new wine fridge. Our old one died. Now I have two sitting in my dining room.  One works and is full. Yay! FG also enrolled me us back in our old wine club.  Yay!  We will get our first shipment next Wednesday.  I'm gonna need it after this week of playdates, crazy cabin-fever children and in-law's. 

I don't make true resolutions for the new year so I don't have any to share on here.  Instead when I decide I don't like something, I try my best to change it and do so whenever that strkes me.  Sure I want to exercise more even though I despise it and I want to take better care of myself and be a better parent to the kids.  After spending all day yesterday doing everything but playing with the kids, when DS asked me to play a new board game they got I decided that the vacuuming can wait and I sat down to play with them.  Now, the vacuuming is still on my to-do list so I must get off this computer and go get it done. 

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and wish everyone a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Learn to say No

Actually, I should say "Learn to keep my mouth shut."  WHY do I get myself into these things?  Oh yeah, because I want to be Super Mom for my kids!

I just finished drafting a letter to go to the parents of my daughter's Kindergarten class.  I have taken it upon myself to collect money for a gift card for their teacher.  How easy is that for other parents to hand over cash to me and let me do the gift-giving?  Apparently very easy.  All I did was mention it to a few parents yesterday and WHOOSH! out came the walletts and the cash was in my hand.  The ones I didn't get to talk to will get a little letter in their child's backpack today requesting that they help out with a donation.  I told them I will get a g/c to our nearest fancy mall in whatever amount I collect by next Wednesday as well as a card and sign it "From the class".  ey yi yi.
The teacher will love it though.  Really, how many trinkets and plates of cookies does one teacher need?  She is super skinny and very stylish.  A big "Worlds Best Teacher" pin isn't really her style. A g/c to go shopping certainly is!

I am also gathering items for the High Tea in my son's class next week.  Uh huh. I'm actually sending in my crystal sugar and creamer set for a group of 3rd graders to practice social skills with.  My mom let him borrow two of her teapots and DS signed me up to bake oatmeal cookies and bring in other various items such as a tablecloth and cloth napkins. I also brought home the elf vest they are wearing in their music program and cut and glued decorations onto them.  I brought in egg cartons for their ornament project as drying racks. 

Immediately prior to this post I sent two emails to family members and a text to FG about presents for the kids.  My Grandma sent me a check to purchase and wrap toys for the kids from her.  I gave time options to my IL's for meeting them at the toystore I work at to pick some things out for my kids so I can purchase them, wrap them and let the grandparents give them to the kids.  My mom called tellling me she hasn't been able to pick up an item at Costco that she wants for DD yet.  I told her FG was going there for me today so I'd just have him pick it up while he's there. Mom is worried it will get sold out before she can get there.  FG's aunt asked me to purchase 3 of the Snap Circut sets from the toystore, wrap them and mail them to 3 different addresses prior to Christmas as well.  So I stopped at the post office yesterday to pick up flat rate mailing boxes.  I also researched prices on a Wii game and forwarded it to my BIL and SIL who asked for ideas for the kids too.  I know they don't have a lot of money so I found the game as inexpensively as I could and told them it could be a combo gift for both kids and that was it.  If that wasn't what they wanted to do, I gave them two other suggestions. 

All I can hope is that Karma will be good to me and my kids will be nice to me when I'm old.  They have no clue how much work it is to fulfill their Christmas wishes and to keep their teachers happy and feeling appreciated.  All I want for Christmas is a nap!

Children's Responsibilities

I've posted about it before but The Retro Housewife's post made me want to talk about it again.

Supernanny is coming to my town and looking for families.  We are FAR from perfect but there have been a few times that FG and I will have watched the show and chuckle.  We look around at our staightened up house, knowing that the kids are tucked into their beds.  Whether they are sleeping or not, they are in their beds and we are able to relax and wind down from work/parenting for the day.  No, the house isn't spotless and YES the kids do get up for a drinkofwater/hug/scaredofthefunnynoise/changemymusiccd/anotherdrinkof water but it's certainly not the crazed evenings we see on that show.  Heck we've seen our own friends have to go through it!  They have to lay down with their child to get them to go to sleep. Their child simply refuses to go to sleep.  Their house is a mess of strewn and discarded toys. They are stressed whenever they have guests over. 

Maybe it's just the neat freak in both FG and I.  My mother laughs because when I was a teen, you couldn't see my bedroom floor.  Her rule - no dirty dishes in my room.   If I wanted my clothes washed, they had to be in the laundry or they didn't get washed. My parents just shut the door because I was the one who had to live in the mess.  Now, I make my bed every single day.  I cannot leave dishes in the sink (unless they are air drying - that I can handle). I must wipe down the counters.  Dirty clothes go into the hamper immediately. Shoes get put in their proper place. Towels get hung up to dry immediately after use.  I am sure when my kids are older, their rooms will become like mine and I'll impose the same rules my mother did. Until then, they follow MY rules.

Before we added on the playroom to our home, the toys were in the front room of the house.  As soon as my son was old enough to help, he was responsible for putting away his toys.  I would say about 18 mo. he was really helping.  Prior to that, the concept just didn't register.  But I helped him and at the end of every day, before heading up for our bedtime routine, we put away his toys.  Same with his sister.  Every night, I would have him help put his dirty clothes into the clothes hamper.  Once he got a big bed, I made it for quite awhile.  As soon as he was able to handle it, he was responsible for it. 

Now this is how our day goes:
Morning:  DS gets up, brushes his teeth, makes his bed and eats breakfast.  Then he goes back to his room to get dressed for the day. His PJ's get put neatly on his bed (at this point, they wear them a couple of times in a row. I don't require them to fold their pjs, just not throw them on the floor).
DD doesn't have to get up as early, nor is she on a time restriction yet because she is in afternoon K.  But as I type, she's upstairs making her bed and getting dressed.
After school they empty their backpacks. 
Jackets get hung up.  Mittens get put back into the basket near the coat rack.
Shoes are taken off and put either on the stairs on by the front door.
After homework, they put it in their backpacks so it's ready for the next morning.  I can totally see DS misplacing his and we have so little extra time in the morning.  It's better to just take care of it as soon as he's done.  If it's library book day the next day, they are gathered and put into the backpack too.
Dinner is a family affair.  FG helps me clean up. The kids bring their dishes to the counter by the sink as soon as they are finished and before desseert.  DS takes out any recycling that I leave on the counter for him and one of the kids feeds the dog dinner.

We give them a warning time of when they need to start picking up their toys. We have one of these which I will sometimes use if they aren't motivated to pick up.

I have used that for many other things as well - counting down video game time, dinner time (I have VERY slow eaters!).  It's nice for procrastinators like I have to get a warning to kick their little butts in gear!

After they pick up toys, they go upstairs and get ready for bed.  They both put their dirty clothes in their hampers, hang up any towels that they use when cleaning up etc. 

Don't let me fool you, this isn't all wine & roses.  It doesn't always go smoothly and there are certainly protests.  Part of these things are considered their chores and they get allowance for it.  But some things have been taken off the allowance table.  Bringing their dishes to the sink and putting their dirty clothes in their hampers have been replaced with bigger things like wiping down the bathroom counters once a week or vacuuming the carpets and/or kitchen floor.

Another big part of the routines of our day is to benefit DS.  Because of his SPD, he does better with routine. He can function well knowing what is coming next.  It takes big effort on our part as parents.  Sure, it would be faster for me to put everything away and keep it all organized.  But the time I spent in years past showing them that if you put the Hot Wheels cars away into their boxes instead of leaving them in a pile, you have a better time playing with them later.  If you put all the puzzle/game pieces back into the box where they belong, it's ready when you want to play it again and there's no crying that you can't find what you are looking for.  DS has a big problem with losing things.  He doesn't like to lose anything so he freaks out over losing the smallest of insignificant items.  If he's lost something it's devastating to him.  So by teaching him how to care for things and put items away in a proper place, he knows where to find them the next time.  Because his motor skills are also affected, it gives him a sense of accompishment as well.  He can handle doing tasks that he sees adults do easily or other children do as well.

I also belive I'm benefitting them for later in life.  Now that somethings have become routine to them, they won't struggle with it when they are out on their own.  I'll eventually teach them how to do the laundry from sorting to washer settings to drying and ironing.  I have already started with teaching them how to cook.  My parents taught me these things at an early age as well.  When I met FG, he was still living at home and his mother didn't let him learn to cook or do laundry.  I joke that he simply moved from his mother's house to mine.  She isn't maternal or the type that wants to dote on her children.  She is the type who just wants it done her way and only her way and it's easier to not spend the time teaching these things. Thus FG is not allowed to touch the laundry and when he has to cook, it's not natural for him.

So while it is nice for me to now not have to pick up toys or trip over toys, it would have been faster and easier for me to just handle it when they were smaller.  Now I don't have to spend as much time showing them certain things which leaves more time to teach them other lifeskills.  It all falls back on my personal belief that it's my job to raise adults, not overgrown, needy children.

H1N1 vaccine or "Swine Flu"

I got my kids vaccinated yesterday. I didn't wait the 6+ hours in line at the Heatlh Dept. I did a little research and called the clinic run by the nursing school at the University. They had them. I could make an appointment. It would cost me $20 each for an administration fee. Fine by me to save an entire day! Money is tight but time is money too. $40 is not going to make or break us. Two sick kids and most likely a sick Mommy would. Again, the time is money thing.

So I got my kids the nasal spray. I have had excellent luck with them staying healthy getting the live virus vaccine for the seasonal flu in the past. Even my ped told me last year that the percentage of kids coming in with flu-like illnesses was drastically different if they got the nasal vaccine vs. the shot. Basically, the live virus offered them much better protection. And I don't have to have them freaking out and hating me because they got a "poke" as DD calls them.

I know this is a controversial issue. My thought was that there is a chance, however slight, that a healthy child could die from getting the flu - seasonal or H1N1. I haven't heard of anyone dying from the vaccine. I would hate myself if I risked it. If the horrific happened to my kids because I felt they "have good immune systems" I would literally die myself. So it wasn't much of a question in my mind. As DS said yesterday, "Ha ha! I now have a force field against the H1N1 virus!"

They'll get the seasonal nasal mist in a month. There needs to be a period of time in between both nasal mists. My mom, an RN and very involved in the vaccination clinics in our town, told me that the H1N1 is hitting now anyway and the seasonal flu is due to peak later - like January. So she was relieved that I got them vaccinated in the order I did (will).

That's another thing I told her. Dad's poor health is not something I want to risk either. He's around the kids quite a bit. If he got anything from them and it would be much much harder on him than anyone else. Again, not a risk I am willing to take.

Side note, I am giddy at the fact that I don't have to leave my house today! Pathetic. But I am in my comfy clothes and happy that I have an entire day. It's "Take Dad To School Day" which also means "Dad takes DD to Kindergarten in the middle of the day!" I still got up, showered and put on make up and did my hair. I made DS's lunch, packed up his backpack, got DD ready etc. But I don't have to run out and do anything. If FG doesn't stay in DD's class the whole time, they can take the bus home. I plan to get some work done, get some more laundry done, do a few chores, make some cookies (? Maybe), and most likely make Breakfast for Dinner because we are out of waffles. (I make my own frozen waffles. I make a giant batch, wrap each one in plastic wrap and put them in a big Ziploc. I haven't bought frozen waffles in years and no one has asked for them either.) Since I didn't sleep well last night, I'm hoping for a little nap too!

They really do exist!

Nice playdates, that is.
I did a good thing yesterday and was fully prepared for hell. Playdates are usually not a pleasant thing around here. The last little geeky kid that came over with DS was mean to DD, rude to the rest of us and then informed me that his mother wasn't picking him up until 7 pm. This was a school night! So I got to get the kid to do his homework AND feed him dinner while he insisted that he is the guest so he can do whatever he wants. Um, no. He hasn't been back.

But DD made a little friend in her class this year. Actually, she met her the week before they started school when she did her Kindergarten evaluation. I told the teacher that she didn't know any of the kids in her class. Then, waiting outside the classroom was another little girl who the teacher told me would be in the class too. The girls met... and hugged. DD is a hugger. Some kids are not. The mom immediately (told me her life story, literally) told me that she owns a yoga studio and they are very "huggy" and she's had to work with her daughter to not just hug everyone she sees. The Mom was so happy that MY daughter is the one who initiated the hug and made HER daughter feel comfortable. The girls have been inseparable ever since.

Learning their life story (I am NOT kidding) in 10 minute increments I found out that this little girt also has a 3rd grade brother, just like my DD. Also that they are in transition of moving this weekend/week and The Mom had a final due on Monday (she's going back to school). The girls have been begging for a playdate. I told The Mom that I would try to figure out a day that worked. Last week was just nuts with everything and I apologized for mentioning it and not following through. Then I suggested Monday. She told me that would be awesome because of the moving/packing and her final. She was very sweet about it and said that if it didn't work, that was totally fine but if it did, I would be helping her tremendously. Because of their transitional move, she has to shuttle kids to & from school THREE times a day. Literally every few hours she is driving back & forth to the school. Ey yi yi.

So I made everyone happy yesterday by picking the kids up and bringing them back here for a playdate. As I mentioned in my MPM post, it was way too quiet. When I did check on them, I found the girls happily playing "house" and "store" in DD's room and the boys happily building stuff out of Hot Wheels tracks, Legos and Magnetix. Both boys love to build random stuff. The boys were who I was worried about since they had never met. They are in different classes and the other boy is quiet and shy. They got along GREAT. The girls got alone great in a setting other than school. It was literally wonderful. They were all polite (even my kids). They graciously accepted the Snickerdoodles and Kool-aid I offered. They played nicely. There were no fights, no rudeness, no tears. Well, DD got her lip banged while playing on the swing set but it was accidental and hey, that happens. Her friend was concerned about her and near tears herself watching her DD cry.

The Mom picked them up and was so thankful. She's a total kook (life story telling within 5 minutes of meeting someone=kook) but very nice and not the complete whack-job kook type.

So yes, I found out good playdates do exist! I will happily invite these children back and will do it soon.

Now to decide what to bake since the cookies were wiped out yesterday.

Monday rambling

Let's go with some bullets, shall we?

• I am feeling very inadequate! I realize there are 3 gazillion food blogs out there and I don't really consider mine one of them. Sure I share some recipes and show some pictures but I don't classify myself as a "food blog". But I like to read them for ideas! However, they sure do make a girl feel inadequate! I love love love to bake and cook but I look at their stuff and realize mine can be Hamburger Helper next to some of those! Slice & bake cookies from the tube! #1 problem. We don't eat enough of it! DS is so damn picky (more on a new development later!) FG and I try not to gorge ourselves on sweets. Those chocolate chip cookies I made last week? Even after sharing some with our dads, I still ended up throwing 4 cookies away. ACK! That kills me! Maybe I'll shoot for once in awhile stepping out of the basic recipe box and going for it. That's a start.
• I am loving the new kitchen. My family is loving the food!
• I've been pretty much sticking to my menu plan from last week. The only changes are that after work and DS's first REAL audition on Saturday, I didn't feel like a big meal. None of us really did. So we went out and that altered things. We'll have the stuffed chicken breasts tonight.
• I mentioned that we went out on Saturday. I was hungry for sushi even though FG and I just had it recently. DS has been asking to try it. The kid loves shrimp and now likes rice (especially with soy sauce). So we went for it. He was so excited. I was thrilled he was going to try something new. What is the first thing he tries new? A big glob of wasabi paste and no drinks to be found on the table to wash it down. Uh huh. The kid now says "I HATE wasabi!" Can't blame him. But he ate his shrimp, crab and fried tofu. He tried a piece of my crystal shrimp long roll. I was proud of him! DD wanted to try too but she just ate the shrimp and said she didn't like anything else. She stayed hungry because sushi ain't cheap!
• Last night DS also decided to finally try my pulled pork sandwiches and the potato pancakes. He asked for seconds! I've made both of these several times and every time he has turned up his nose at it. I finally told him that the meat is just like ribs but with no bone and the sauce is bbq sauce. I didn't tell him it's my own homemade bbq sauce though. I let him douse the potato pancake with applesauce (because really, who the heck cares! It's APPLESAUCE with no sugar, pile it on kid!). He gobbled it down and requested another immediately. Yay for him finally trying new things AND eating a lot!
• He also had two helpings of the chow mein I made. Don't ask me for a recipe. I have no idea what I did and if I'll be able to do it again. Dang.
• DS is frustrated because his younger sister weighs more than he does. There is a 3 1/2 year age difference. Oops!
• DS also had his first REAL audition on Saturday. Now we wait and see. I am nervous. I think it would be awesome for him to get a part but right now he's got a nasty snaggle tooth. I fear that will keep him out of the running.
• I need to get the kid to a dentist. It is soooo expensive without insurance. Insurance is sooo expensive in itself and as far as dental, not really worth paying it! But I have to find something for this kid and get his tooth pulled. The adult tooth is coming in in front of it and going forward. We even traumatized the poor kid and tried to get it out ourselves this weekend. Didn't work. I have to find a way to pay to have it done. I fear the bill and the terror for DS.
• It's been hot here. Now we will have a 30+ degree drop in daytime temps. So fun to go from shorts & sandals and 95 degree temps to 58 - 68 degree temps in the span of 2 days. Yes, yesterday we were swimming in my parent's pool and Wednesday we'll be in sweatshirts and long pants. Today, mid 80's, tomorrow, upper 60's. Lovely.
• The weather makes me want to make soup. Any favorite recipes that don't involve carrots, mushrooms or tomatoes? Please, pass them my way!