Harsh reality checks

I have more friends going through marriage problems. It just breaks my heart. You know, if I ever had that happen to me, I would be so completely devastated. I walk around thinking that my marriage is great, just fine. I even tell myself to not be such an idiot. So when I hear of this going on with friends I do a double check of my own marriage. Poor FG gets asked a lot if he's happy with me. Then he reminds me that the last thing he needs is another woman to deal with. The last time I was freaking out about this he did a few little things that showed me that all is ok. They were small, but very significant.
A good friend of his told him that he cheated on his wife. I have never heard FG lay into a friend the way he did that time. Oh my. Not too much rattles FG but this really seemed to and he gave his friend a huge earful. While my heart broke for my friend (even though she's much better off now! ;) ) I was reassured of how seriously FG took marriage.
I know one thing, he can't completely mind me freaking out about what's happening to my friends because he sure gets some good action out of it! Just my own little way of making sure he doesn't look elsewhere.

This 'n' that

Because I can't seem to have a real topic to write about lately, here's some more random bullets.

• I just mistakenly sent a "invite your friends to join Facebook" email to my BIL. ugh. I hope he doesn't. I meant to search for him so I could be prepared if he send me a friend request. Dammit. I'll blame it on a computer error (and keep quiet about the fact it was a computer OPERATOR error).
• DS his home from school today. He's had a sore throat the past few days and sounds terrible. I probably should have kept him home yesterday as well but he thought that meant he got to play video games all day. Mean mom I am, I sent him to school after seeing him perk up like he did at the thought of non-stop electronic entertainment.
• FG is on his way "over the hill" as we like to refer to our mountain range separating us and California. He's hoping to buy a new car. He's been borrowing his mom's 1994 BMW. It's basically become a P.O.S. He drives a lot for his work and he comes home every day and says his back is killing him. I hadn't really thought much of it until today when I had to drive it. Ugh. No wonder he's been complaining and can't wait to get a new car! He's going for a Mini. I hope he finds one that works well. If he does, the payments will be a ton less than what he was paying for his Audi lease. And this one he's buying because the financing is so good right now. Hopefully it all goes smoothly. Thanks to Lovely Las Vegas, Nevada is having a hard time getting financed.
• I am taking a class tonight on how to "manage" my son and his acting career. I'm basically 99% clueless on the business and if he works, it will all be new to me. Since he's a minor, we have to handle it all. The class is cheap (even cheaper since my parents insisted on paying for it for me) and I'm hoping to come away with some knowledge on the business.
• With DS home, I'm going to have to do something to make myself remember to pick up DD from preschool. Yikes. I keep forgetting.
• I'm having one of those days where no matter what I eat I am still hungry feeling. CRAZY. Last night after work I ate a little frozen dinner. Then a yogurt. Then some chocolate. I went to bed feeling like I hadn't eaten dinner at all. This morning a giant bagel with cream cheese and cup of tea left me feeling the same way. Though I am forcing myself to NOT eat anything else. My jeans are already tight and I don't like it.
• Last weekend was so busy I didn't feel like I had a weekend.
• I did a little voluntary PR work for the toystore last weekend and my boss is so happy with me. She must have thanked me 20 times in person and via email. All I did was make a few phone calls and get the news to cover an event we had at the store.
• Another busy weekend coming up as well. Though this weekend I do hope to have more downtime than last weekend. Any good movie recommendations for a Family Movie Night?

Too much info?

This afternoon I watched Oprah. I don't watch it often as she can really get on my nerves. But I was bored and wanted to just sit. DS was home from school and wanted to build his new Lego set next to me in the living room. Then they did the "warning this isn't for small children" on Oprah yet I didn't change the channel. I wanted DS to see some of it. She did a segment with Lisa Ling on child porn. They didn't show the images but they described them. DS has never asked us what "sex" is. He just seems to know it isn't something he's supposed to discuss yet. He doesn't shy away from things and never has hesitated to ask us to explain what a word means. He's just simply ignored it like he already knows (and with my belief that this isn't his first go-'round, he probably does!).
So watching it I just said to him, "There are just bad people out there who will hurt you. Even if they have kids of their own and we all think they are ok, they could not be ok. We just never really know. If ANYONE ever gets you in any sitution that isn't comfortable in any way, you get the heck out of there - yell, scream, do whatever you have to ok?" He went into his 8 year old tough guy rant about how he'd beat them up. I explained that he couldn't possibly beat up an adult but to not hesitate to do anything he needed to to hurt them enough to get away.
Having heard these things in the past I know that generally a predator does just that - preys on the child. I know every situation is different and it could very well happen that the first time he's around an adult who is evil would do something awful to him without the "several visit build-up". I meant to do things like poke them in the eyes or just simply get out if there was any opportunity. Honestly, I didn't really want to even think about either kid in that situation.
Anyway, I probably shouldn't have let him watch it but I want him to know. I want to be upfront with him on how the world works, I've always been that way with him. Yes, it could seriously kill some innocence but so could not being aware and having some awful person do something to him.
The whole thing turned my stomach. We just never really do know do we? I don't want to keep them from fun things like sleepovers or playdates or camp (yes, someone brought that up to me the other day when I mentioned DS is going to camp this summer). I don't want them to live in fear. I want them to live informed and know they are loved and their father and I are here. They can tell us anything and we will do whatever to protect them. Gosh this parenting thing is really hard!

Finally the sun & something fun

Today has been good - finally we did something FUN!

We just got home from seeing Monsters vs. Aliens. It was good. I love the 3D stuff! I will admit, I got a bit sleepy with DD curled up next to me, all warm & snuggly and a belly fully of popcorn. I took a little snooze. Hey, it's a kid's movie. I was able to sleep for 5 minutes and pick right back up. It was cute though - the kids liked it and that's all that really matters.

We also went to the park this morning and met DD's playgroup. I had DS put his scooter and helmet in the back of the car. While he did, our poor lonely doggy (Ha! She's been in the house more than not since our other dog died) put her front paws up on the back end of the SUV and wimpered. I lifted up her big ass and put her in. She was such a good girl at the park! I know people get (rightfully so) freaked out about dogs around little kids but this one is such a Mama. She adores babies and when mine were babies, any little squeak caused her to run to them and sniff, run to me and wimper, run back to the baby and sniff, back to me... until I evnentually tended to them. She still goes and checks the kids at night before she goes to bed in our room. She waits by their doors and sniffs them until she's satisfied. So I have zero fear around her and kids. I've seen kids (my own mainly) take bones that she's knawing on right out of her mouth and walk away. She has never even bared a tooth or made a noise other than a hefty doggy sigh. Still, at the park I kept her tight on her leash 95% of the time and let the kids approach her if they wanted, always holding her leash tight. She was so sweet and only barely gently kissed their faces. She was just so happy to be out with her kids too! So it was fun for the kids to have her there as well as get out and go to the park.

Of course, right before we left for the movie I see the neighbor's car drive by and a few minutes later, the kids show up at our door. FG told me that he sent them home yesterday because they were being mean. The boy asked DS if he could keep just about everything he touched. Then they apparently were being mean to DD. I've gotten on all 3 of the kids before for being mean to DD and DS has shaped up about it. I guess when The Girl took one of DD's favorite stuffed animals away from her, DS ordered her to give it back and told her she had to be nice to his sister. Yay! He's finally figuring out that he needs to stand up for his sister, not join in on any teasing! We praised him up & down. Also, I think The Boy is sick and that peeves me to no end! Do NOT dare send your sniffling, coughing kid to play at my house! I have refused them entry in the past because one of my kids wasn't 100% healthy and while other moms think it's no big deal, I don't want to be "that mom" who feels it's ok to infect other kids with their kids' germs. Apparently she is one of "those moms". ugh. What really irks me is they come over here, are mean to my kids and then when my kids say "we can't play today, we're getting ready to go watch a movie" they start in on the 10,000 questions.... "Where?" "Oh, when will you be back?" "Why can't you take us too?" "Why can't you play when you get home?" "What are you going to be doing?" "Why are you doing that?" and on and on. I wanted to just scream at them today but calmly said, "Nope. They can't play now and they can't play later. Not today at all. Maybe tomorrow but I'm not sure yet. Besides, _____ is sick and I don't want DD & DS to catch anything." They claim, "He's not sick." and I retort, "Um, yes, you're coughing and there's snot running out of your nose. You are sick." Have I ever mentioned that I'm thankful their parents both work so they go to a daycamp thing during the day? Yeah, little saving graces.

Just not feelin' it

Sometimes I consider myself a really good and fun mom. But this week, the kids will most likely have more tv and video game time than ever necessary. I'm just not feelin' the groove of the whole "fun mom" thing right now. So I wait. It's really not fun if it's forced anyway, right?
Yesterday and the day before were B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L days! We had on short sleeves and dresses. It was nice to feel the warm sun on our skin and breathe in the sweet fresh air. Right now, it's snowing. uh huh. Is there some rule that says it must snow at least once a week in April and then tease us with warmth again?
Rain, I can deal with. I understand, it's fine! But snow? pahlease!
I guess the best thing is I have to work tonight and tomorrow night. Both days we aren't supposed to get out of the 40's. That means a couple of things - I won't feel guilty not being home and doing fun outside things with my family. Second, it means that the store will possibly be slow. We're so dang busy most of the time I'm there that I feel like I'm going crazy. It's nice because people are spending money (and helping pay my salary!) and it makes the time go really fast but once in awhile it would be nice for it to slow down a bit. Let me restock the shelves properly. Let me clean the dust off the backs of the displays. Let me straighten the wrapping area. Let me take a breath or go grab a drink and a granola bar so I don't feel like I'm going to pass out by the time I leave the store!
Hopefully I'll have a couple of new recipes to share. FG's birthday is Friday so we've decided to have an open house type thing-a-ma-bob to gather friends. It's really an excuse for me to make some goodies and drink some wine. :)

Update

• DS had his audition yesterday. They want to "represent" him. Then they recommended we take a couple of their classes. Immediately FG and I became skeptical. Did they agree to represent everyone who walked into the open auditions and recommend they take their classes? Was this just a ploy to get $$ from us by taking their classes? Hmm. I asked DS's Acting teacher about it and she felt it is a reputable company. We don't pay them a dime to be represented by them unless he gets a job, which we then give them a percentage. And it's a fairly small percentage at that. So we'll see. I'll go ahead and sign the contract (I read it all, it's pretty basic and straightforward and they aren't asking for a kidney or anything). Then I'll probably take one of their classes that is only $30. Then we wait. DS is excited and was quite charming in the interview. I do hope he gets a little job here & there. He just loves it so much!
• You may (or may not) notice that I dropped a couple of blogs from my list and added a couple more. I'm still on the search for new ones. I just added a couple that I had bookmarked but never added to my list. I never read them regularly but now I'll check them out and evaluate if they are worth the little time I have online. I'm just sort of done with the one-way street "friendships". Not that I live for comments but hey, I would like to know who's reading about my life. Also, if I'm taking the time to become part of someone's life by reading their stuff and making comments the least they could do is return the favor once in awhile. No, I don't mean the mega-blogs with the hundreds of readers or even the 10's of readers, I'm talking the littler ones who are like me - just a few loyal readers. You can't tell me they just don't have time to comment or don't have anything to say. I drivel on enough, they could just tell me to stop babbling and get to the point even!
• That all said, I've spent waaay too much time online this dreary morning. But DD slept really late and while I don't know exactly when she woke up, I walked into her room at nearly 10:20 this morning and announced it was way too late. I can't blame her though - the morning just screamed for laying in bed and being lazy. I had to force myself in the shower. Now I must force myself to clean this messy house. Is it not messy when my back it to it facing the computer screen?

A little Tuesday babble

I guess I could just do bullets for my little update.

• There is some big news on the DS front. (I really should think of a proper nickname for him huh?) First, I am very proud of him regarding school. He brought home an awesome report card last week. Second, he's been having some strange issues with a friend of his. The actions and words of this friend have me wondering what the heck is going on with this kid outside of school, as in, is someone doing improper things to him and he's projecting it onto other kids he knows he can pick on? The two boys have been friends since the beginning of 1st grade and he's always been a nice kid, if not the polar opposite of my little bouncy ball. He's what FG and I call a "flatliner". Anyway, all of a sudden he's been groping DS, saying terrible and violent things. DS, who seems incapable of telling a lie, comes home and tells me everything. I have discussed it with the teacher, she has discussed it with the principal and his parents as well. Well, in class, DS and "Flatliner" have been paired up in their "centers" where they do independent work. It's been a problem for DS as "Flatliner" hasn't been behaving and getting DS into trouble. I told DS that in this world he was going to have to learn to work and deal with all sorts of people but ultimately, he was responsible for himself and his own actions. He agreed but then came home the next day and told me he asked the teacher to have a private talk with her. He brought up the problems he was having with "Flatliner" and how it is making it hard for him to get his work done. BAH! I think it was an "in your face Mom!" saying, "like hell I have to work with this kid and have him keep getting me in trouble! Don't tell me I have to learn to just deal with people." I saw it as a big sign of maturity on DS's part that he asked for the conference and explained his reasons for wanting a different center partner. Whoa, where did this kid come from again?
• Also in regards to DS... he's going to SUMMER CAMP this summer. Excuse my language but HOLY SHIT he's not old enough for SUMMER CAMP - like sleeping away from home in a cabin and not seeing mom for a whole week summer camp. Scary thing, he IS old enough. He could have gone last year when he was entering into 2nd grade. It's the same camp that FG went to as a kid, located in a gorgeous spot less than an hour away from us. DS's first questions: "What does it smell like?" "Do I have to sleep in the same bed with other kids?" (when we told him there were a bunch of kids in one cabin), "What kind of food is there?" I hope he does ok. At least he's aware of his sensory issues - thus all the questions. I fully expect to pick up a very hungry and very dirty child at the end of the week. According to FG, the showers don't get so hot and I know DS takes the hottest shower he can.
• And another one regarding DS.... tomorrow we're taking him to a casting call at a local talent agency. Time to put this kid to work! We'll see how it goes. I just want him to be on their file if something comes up and they need a little kid like him. When I was in the advertising business, we used this agency for talent so I'm familiar with the process. I'll let you know how it goes!
• Now onto DD. I had to go buy her a new summer wardrobe the other day. Thanks to a really good paycheck and FIL's contribution (he likes to buy the kids their clothes) I was able to get enough mix & match clothes that she should be good for the summer. Then I created a monster by bringing the full length mirror from my room into hers and making her try on all the clothes in various combinations. It took over an hour. There was lots of posing and dancing and twirling.
• Onto me! I had the weekend off work - yay! It felt great. I wanted to do something fun as a family but alas, basketball games on TV prevented it. Why yes, I am a tad bitter. So I started a jigsaw puzzle. Want a way to get off the computer? Yeah, put a puzzle on your dining room table. I'm a bit obsessive about such things and all I can say is thank goodness it's nearly done. Then of course, I told FG I would get another one for the family because it's been kinda nice to have us all working on it together. I spent some good quality time with DS last night working on it.
• And finally, I think I need to find some new blogs for my reader. No offense to those of you reading but I get comments from the same loyal friends. I like that. I like that even though I should pickup the phone and call you I know that you are keeping up with me and I can keep up with you as our time permits. But I'm also noticing that there are a few that I loyally read and try to comment on that I'm not listed on their sidebar and they don't comment on mine. So, I'm going to find some new ones. Some like-minded friends who I find interesting and maybe I don't bore to tears with my blabbering and endless drivel.

Finally - the salmon burgers!

I FINALLY made them. They have been appearing on my weekly menu for months now and I just haven't gotten to them. I finally did them yesterday.
They were OK. The worst part was getting the bones out. I'm wondering if I need to try a different brand of canned salmon. But that part was kinda gross and stuff doesn't usually gross me out when it comes to cooking and food. Stick my entire arm into a turkey cavity and dig out the innards left for me, no problem, whack up a whole chicken, no problem. Take the bones and skin off a canned fish, um, ewwww.
I made them basic for the first go-round. Just salmon, bread crumbs, an egg and some seasoning. Nothing fancy. The kids actually took a few bites but didn't dig into them. I ate 95% of mine. It didn't have an overwhelming fish flavor or any overwhelming flavor at all, really. I'm not sure if I'll make them again or not but if I do, I'll steel myself to the task and maybe search some different recipes to add some flavor to them.

Side note, I am starting to hate Wednesdays. Especially when I forget to start up my PMD meds. Oy. I'm a tad overdue on them. Since I'm supposed to start them sometime mid-cycle, that would involve paying attention to when mid-cycle is. I'm excellent at knowing what's up with my body and when it's doing it's thing but have been so busy with life lately that I haven't taken notice. Whoops. I should have because I'm a few days late in starting those yummy little pills and it showed last night. My Facebook status said it all and was something about not wanting to hear the word "Mom" for at least 8 hours. 4.2 seconds after I typed that last night, I heard "Mom" at least 3 more times and a few more at 3:30 am for good measure. Just to make sure I knew my title I guess. I recall saying to one of the kids last night when I heard their bedroom door open at 9:43, "Unless you are dying, bleeding or throwing up, GO BACK TO BED!" and I heard a sweet little voice say, "I am Mom, I was just letting the cat out of my room." And whoosh! There comes the Mommy Guilt raining down on me and soaking me to the bone. Same with the 3:30ish "Moooommm. I had a bad dream. Can you come with me and make it better?" Get her all tucked back in bed (I was already grumpy because that same damn cat was sleeping on me and being an annoying HOT bed-hog, thus causing me to not sleep and no matter how many times I moved her or threw her off the bed, she still came right back to the crook of my legs) and when I start to leave the room she says, "But Mom! Wait. Can you just stay here for a little bit so I feel better?" Damn, dumped on by a bucket of Mommy Guilt again for trying to sneak out of the room and leave her to her own coping devices. She's still FOUR and yes, doesn't have all the coping skills to simply make that bad dream go away on her own. This is all after a hectic Wednesday where I have to rush around running DS and pal to Acting Class (DS got the role of Danny in Grease. I'm so proud!!!), wait for them for an hour while DD wiggles in the backseat and watches a movie, run DS's friend home and finally arrive home just after 6:30 and manage to get dinner made. Wednesdays are also "bath night" because I bathe them every other day in the winter and do so on Preschool days. Wednesdays are also the night that FG plays in a pool league with my dad and doesn't get home until after the kids are in bed and I'm usually wiped out. Thus I am not liking Wednesdays much right now. And you can bet your booty that I started taking my PMD meds this morning. Whoohoo, only a week 'til AF rears her ugly head. Lucky me.