Is this for real?

I'm certainly not going to argue!
We are "feng shui" wanna be's. We don't follow it to a "t" but we do follow a few of the rules. As I've shared, things have been a bit, um, crazy lately in our lives. DH told me last night that we need to get another fountain. We used to have a water fountain on the top of the armoire in the living room. It got all gunky and gross awhile back and we tossed it out. Thinking about it, things have been a bit off kilter ever since. So I said I would go out and get a new one today.

Here's a little background.... I've been attempting to get the school district transportation department to listen to me about stopping my son's bus at our end of the neighborhood like it always has. It's a long story but since the 2nd day of school I've been walking him to the other end of the neighborhood to catch his bus, even though it turns the corner right behind our house and has always stopped there. I've been at this since before school started in August. To no avail.
Well, I'll be damned if I don't get the new fountain put together and turn it on and not an hour later the Assistant Director of Transportation finally returns my many phone calls. He was a very nice man, listened to my concern with sending my 6 year old down the street and having to drag a sleeping 3 year old to the other end of the neighborhood for the bus as well. He said he would drive the route himself and go talk to the district guy who I feel has been giving me excuses and blowing me off like an annoyance. This man was so nice about it. He said he would get it added if it was feasible to do so. I told him I'm reasonable, I'm not asking for door to door service but I just wanted to see if it was indeed possible. It doesn't SEEM like much since the bus practically stops to turn the corner there already. I'm not asking for a change in route even! Just an extra stop for my little guy. Talking to him made me feel so much better that they are actually listening to a parent - after all, the school district IS for the kids, right?! And getting them to school is part of it!
So anyway, I don't know if the fountain had anything to do with it or not but I'm not going to argue with it! Coincidence? Possibly. Our home getting a bit back into balance - gosh I sure hope so!!!

I've never been on such a rollercoaster....

That's my life at the moment. I am just trying to make it from moment to moment. I'm not looking far ahead and trying my damndest not to look back. I am just wishing the days away until there is a day without such worry or chaos. I have to remind myself that we are all healthy (knock on wood) and everyone is doing well. It's a hard thing to do when your future is so uncertain. I also have to remind myself that I took a vow - you know that pesky "for richer or poorer" part. I'm not liking the prospect of the "poorer" at the moment!
Anyway, the risky world of new and independent business. I feel SO helpless. My world is just going along with the usual laundry and housework, dishes and meals, homework and bedtimes. Yet my DH's world is absolutely insane. I keep praying and praying that it will just all work out. That it will just fall into place. At times it looks like it will and other times it looks like it's going to break into a thousand tiny little pieces. I am trying to be a supportive wife and keep telling him that if it CAN be done, he will find a way to do it. I haven't let him know that I'm totally skeptical and that I've cried lots. He certainly doesn't need that on top of the stress he is going through. If it all works out, I will reap the benefits as well and that is about the only thing I hold onto. Inside I am paralyzed with fear that I won't be able to buy Christmas presents for my kids or that they will somehow figure out their world isn't what they are used to. Now, I know that can be a good thing but I'm a MOM and I don't want them to find out the harsh reality of life yet!!
I do KNOW this... my DH will do whatever he can to make sure everything works out. Even if things are hard for awhile, they won't be forever. He is out shakin' that ass trying to make big things happen. I do have confidence in him even when doubts creep into my head.
I know it's all a big vague but I'll hopefully look back at this someday and shake my head, knowing exactly what is going through my mind now. I just hope I'm sitting on a beach, sipping a fruity drink watching my kiddos play in the sand when I'm doing it!

Sick baby girl

No one likes it when their child is sick. Well, I guess there are some psychos out there that do things to their kids to make them sick and in the hospital but no sane mother likes to see their child sick.
So my baby girl is sick. She, unlike her older brother, is not a willing medicine taker. I got very mad at her last night over it too and felt bad but who really likes to have purple sticky liquid sudafed spit at them? Again, I'm sure there are some pyschos out there that do.
It's her first cold of the "preschool" season. Thank God my kids were healthy all summer. I'm just praying that no one else in the house catches it. Poor girly needs to get her tonsils out like her brother did. But yeah, like I'm wanting to go through THAT torture again! Her brother was tough enough to get him to drink anything, this one won't even take her medicine so I'm really not jumping on the bus to wake up every 4 hours for several days to give her meds to stay on top of the pain. THAT would be called "glutton for punishment".
Anyway, I hope that she naps again today and sleeps this ickiness off. She wants to go back to preschool but I try to be a rational, and again sane, mom and not send my kid in to share the wealth of germs. Time will tell....

Blah!

I have been feeling sort of "blah" lately. Just very unsettled. DH started a basketball team. Craziness! His world has never been exactly steady. Never been a 9-5, little risk or reward type world. Nope. It's been lots of risk and sometimes reward! I'm just hoping that this risk comes with reward too. I think it will. I have confidence in him at least. He's good at this stuff. I think I will feel better when things start rolling along and he seems less on edge as well. He's my rock. The only earthquakes I need involving that rock are the kind we create ourselves (wink wink ;0 ).
Then there's the whole FIL and his wife issue. We simply do not like her or trust her. FIL doesn't see what we do. I said something a long time ago to a friend that was pretty rotten about FIL's wife (we'll call her "L"). But at the time, it was said in confidence to a friend and I didn't really mean it to hurt "L" or even get back to her. I didn't even mean for it to BE rotten! I was making an observation. Well, said (ex) friend told "L" that I said this thing and for 8 months, FIL and L have been stewing about it. They decided to let it go but obviously, by the way it's come out and FIL sat on my couch yelling at me the other day, they didn't truly "let it go". So I gave my explanation of why I said what I said and in what context etc. He didn't really listen to my explanation and certainly didn't accept it. He kept telling me that I should have gone and apologized to "L" for ever saying it. I couldn't get him to understand the "L" was never even supposed to hear it so why would I go apologize to her when I only found out a week or so ago that she even KNEW I said it???? See why I have an ulcer and bald spots on my head now? My kids don't even frustrate me that much! Who knows if it will get resolved. "L" wasn't there for the conversation so DH suggested that we have her come over too and start over. Oh joy. Anyone know where I can purchase grain alcohol? Maybe I'll just jump right to heroin because I am going to need some strong stuff to get through that one!

Another reason for the Blahs is the end of summer. I hate the end of summer. I like fall for about two weeks then I'm over it, want the snow to come so I can ski for two weeks then I want summer back. That's really all the season changing I need. My son is in 1st grade and I worry about that and if the school will challenge him enough. Then I worry if I'll survive it or HE will survive it. This weekend I wanted to strangle him. I was seriously ready to send him off to boarding school until my sweet guy could come home and leave that mouthy, nasty little shit there.
My daughter starts a new preschool tomorrow. She is excited. I hope it lasts! I am a bad mom to a second... I nearly forgot about taking the camera and taking her picture. She's done preschool before but this is a new one and yeah, I should take pics of her every year - that would be nice huh?
And I start work. I'm not looking forward to that either. We always said we would keep the family business "family" and so I'm going into the office tomorrow to do some work. I don't wanna!!!! But as my kids get older, I'll just be doing more & more. I guess my first free day in a long time I would rather go do something fun but hey, sitting in a very hot office with my FIL will be great, right? RIGHT???? DH told me he has outside work starting about 1/2 hour from when I get there. Soooo, that leaves me with FIL who at the moment thinks I am the devil. Whoohooo! Fun times ahead!

Hopefully the blahs will go away soon. I am too steady and routine for this sometimes! I need the schedule, need the structure. I'll relax once we get into a good rythm of school and work. And as soon as we get our first serious investor in the new business I'll be able to settle down too. And soon I'll brighten my mood by reliving my fun long weekend. Again, despite the Six year old attitude, it was a great weekend with great friends!