Whew!!!

Thank you for your kind comments and emails!
Yesterday's meeting went exactly as we had hoped. We got what we could ask for. Here's a rundown:
We met with DS's teacher, the principal, the school psychologist and the special ed teacher. I, being the organized person I am, had copies of all the doctor's diagnosis, OT evaluation, recommended therapies etc. I also had the file from when he was evaluated by the school district special ed dept. when he was 4. I had my copy of The Out of Sync Child as well.
FG and I sat down and the teacher sat next to me. The principal was across from me. The teacher spoke first about DS and what she would like to see for him, the principal reviewed the files I provided and she knows DS (she is an awesome principal and knows 99% of the kids names at the school). They each also added their funny stories about DS because everyone who meets him has a funny story about DS. We expressed our concerns with the 504, agreed he didn't qualify for special ed, nor did we want to persue that.
Then the psychologist reviewed the file from his review at 4 years old. To me, that review told us he was extremely smart. As in a genius level IQ. She launches into that she would like us to review this medically and see if it's ADD or ADHD. The teacher kicked me under the table. The principal looked at the psychologist like she had two heads. Everyone jumped down her throat. The principal said that we had the medical diagnosis right in front of her and the OT eval as well. Why would we chase our tail? The teacher spoke that it was clear we had done our due dilligence in persuing the problems DS has and I spoke that we did speak to both the physician and the OT and ruled out ADD. The teacher said that she didn't think that was the case at all and in her 35 years of teaching she had had some ADD kids and he didn't fit. THANK GOD we had so many advocates at that table! I do not want this woman to tell us to throw a pill at him and see if it fixes him. That's NOT his problem!
Oh, there was also a district OT but she didn't really say anything except to ask me if he's seen a nuerologist (he hasn't). Since he doesn't qualify for special ed, he doesn't qualify for OT through the district.
After everyone jumped on the poor psychologist, she softened up and told us that she wants to follow his progress and test him in two years for the G&T (gifted and talented) because clearly this kid is freaky smart (we knew that) and he's got the personality to go with it. The principal, the teacher and the special ed teacher all know him and as we chatted, each inserted several anecdotes on our sweet guy. I think the pyschologist could see that he holds a special place in the hearts of everyone who interacts with him.
The principal, bless her heart, just took the paperwork from the psychologist and filled it out for the 504 plan. She said she didn't feel the need to review all of this again and do another evaluation on him in order to see if he indeed does qualify for the 504. We all had input on what is in his plan.
Basically the 504 says that he needs special accomodations in order to be successful in school. He needs a quiet environment, a small classroom - no team teaching with huge classes, his work broken up into smaller parts, extra time for testing. That last one is a huge one because of all this No Child Left Behind crap. Their tests are crazy and if they don't pass them they can't advance in grade level. This allows him extra time to complete them and he can go take them in a small group or alone if he needs to. Right now the teacher sends him out of the room when he's getting overstimulated by the class. He calms himself down, "re-sets" himself and comes back and does fine. He just gets such sensory overload he can't concentrate. But he's obviously got the mental capacity and ability to excel, if given the right environment and tools to do so.
They reassured us with the 504 that 1) we could remove it from his file at any point, 2) we would meet yearly and reasses his needs 3) it's not something that will follow him forever like a special ed "label". It simply allows him what he needs in order to complete his work and learn.
His OT had told me that if a teacher makes him sit down and sit still, he most likely won't get the information into his head that she's trying to teach him. If he's allowed, like he is now, to stand and wiggle a bit, he fulfills that sensory need his brain has and allows the information to sink into his brain. All I want is for future teachers to understand that and now he has something that tells them they have no choice. :)

I was mentally drained after that meeting. I picked up DS from school in the afternoon and when I saw the teacher she asked if FG was pleased with the outcome as well. She said she is very pleased. I gave her a huge hug and told her that she is a complete blessing and we are so very happy she is DS's teacher this year.
So today is a bright day! The sun is out, FG is coming home to hang out with DD while I go watch the crazy kids at their school picnic at the park, there's only a few days of school left for each of them and now DS had his future in place. We'll keep up with his OT on our own even if it does cost us a ton. He was telling me he is writing a book about the eco system in class. He's got such a science brain that he gets excited about such things.
Ohhhh, we also talked about his teacher for next year. He'll get one of two of the single class teachers - he won't be placed in the team teaching classrooms. One of them already knows him because his friend is in her class. And that teacher's son has some sensory issues as well so she's familiar with it. That would be perfect.