Out with kids....

Parents never cease to amaze me.  I'm always baffled by parents who bring their children to a restaurant/friend's home who have no children/other places where they have to wait and be still next to you and bring NOTHING with them. 

Let's think like a child for a moment....
"This is kind of a big scary place but let me look around. Oh, that looks interesting I need to check it out, turn it over, explore it and see if it does anything fun. What?!  Why am I in trouble?  What did I do wrong?  I just want to see what that funny looking thing DOES.  WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Parent...
"Oh geezz, just SIT here and be still.  I know at our house you can pull all the stuff out of that bottom drawer while I make dinner but YOU CAN'T DO THAT HERE!   I know that when I put you in your chair at home for dinner, dinner is ready and you immediately get to eat but in a restaurant we have to wait so just SIT STILL.  Gosh, it's just such a pain to go out with little ones!"

So we have a miserable child who has no idea why the rules changed and a miserable parent because they HAVE to get their drivers license renewed/fill that prescription/would just like to have an adult conversation with a friend and not be embarrassed that their kid is a tornado/would just like to have a dinner out where they get waited on and don't have to do the dishes.  No wonder it's such pain to have little kids!

My advice.  I know, I know. The world is FILLED with unwanted parenting advice.  But I have to get it out because I, well, I just feel bad for everyone - parents and kids. 

What I did was keep a toddler size backpack in the car.  Not a diaper bag but their own little bag of goodies.  I kept it stocked with little toys that they only got to play with while we were out.  There were tiny board books, paper & crayons etc.  It changed as they got older and bored with some of the items but it was always just things that they got to see occasionally.  I also kept a few snack items, a small pack of wipes and a sample size bottle of baby Advil.  That bag saved us countless times at restaurants and friend's houses.  My kids looked forward to it in a place where they would otherwise generally be bored.  The snacks helped ease the wait at a restaurant.  The small toys helped make a new place more familiar.

Now that my kids are 11 & 7 they just want their ipods.  Quite frankly, a lot of times I just want my ipod while waiting too and in a lot of places, I let them play with them.  What I have started doing when we go out to dinner is take a small game with us.  My favorite is Spot It.  It's small, contained, fits easily in my purse without being heavy, fast, appropriate for all of our ages and it's fun!  We will usually order, get out drinks and I'll whip out Spot It and we play until our order arrives.  We don't go out often so that's a treat in itself.  My kids, like most, are used to dinner being ready when they are told to sit down.  Even if they are helping with dinner, they don't sit until it's ready so that's just how they are used to eating.  We certainly don't sit down and then fill our plates 15 minutes later! 

When they were little and had the "Elmo backpack"  I got several compliments on the idea.  Now, we get several interesting looks from people as we enjoy our game at a restaurant table.  I've had some smiles from moms at nearby tables as their kids are slouched down in their seats, noses to the ipod or DS screen, Dad with his nose to his phone.  Sometimes, that is us too but I realized that if I wanted it to change I had to start the change.  I'm so glad I did.  And I'm so glad I took that little backpack everywhere.  I still have it, can't quite let go of it yet.  It's travelled to a lot of places  It's still filled with some little things that bring a smile to my face and an eye-roll from the kids.