Progress

I'm starting to feel a bit better. I'm working hard at the things that have been getting me down.

I've apologized to my friends and told them that I recognize I haven't been a great friend lately. I poured my heart out as to my feelings lately in hopes that they would understand. Not as an excuse, but as a reason. They were supportive and it felt good. They do understand.

I've started getting up earlier and walking the dog a few miles. She can't take much more and I don't want to push her or me. We'll just work up to longer stretches. We walk quickly and it feels good. I can feel it in my thighs - yay! I'm trying to eat better too.

This weekend was a busy one but we managed to put some mundane and relaxation into it as well. DD turned 5 last week. (No fucking way!!!!) and she has been very happy. She loves it when it's all about her! DS is still over the top with his sensory issues coming out but we're trying. His literal constant talking is pushing the limits with both FG and I and then he will start whining like a freaking 2 year old. He's been doing this throw himself on the floor and pout routine a bit much lately which is absolutely unacceptable for an 8 year old in my house.

So I cried to FG last week that I just can't take this chaos anymore and no I did NOT want to leave on Sunday to take the boat out. I did not want to go anywhere or do anything. I don't remember the last time I cooked a meal and we all sat down together to eat. I want to stay home and have him clean up the overgrown yard and I need to clean the house. So Sunday, that's exactly what we did. After my walk, I started cleaning. I took a break to make a big breakfast for the whole family. Then I cleaned and cleaned some more. FG worked outside because um, I don't do yardwork. The kids happily played with DD's new toys and only asked for a cartoon in the late afternoon. I took the car to the car wash that has the free vacuums that will literally suck the stripes of a tiger. My car is now clean too. (Just like a house, I don't do messy cars very well. I don't like a lot of stuff in them and I don't like dirt on the outside or inside. That would just depress me every time I got in it and saw the sand, dog hair, toys etc on the inside and the dirt on the outside).

I made dinner and we all ate together. At the same table. The kids played outside. The kids went to bed at a fairly decent time (for summer). FG and I went to bed at a fairly decent time. Today, we get to go play at the waterpark. I don't have to worry about a gross house that I will immediately get depressed walking into. I already have dinner planned and shrimp & steak thawing. I've talked to a couple of friends. We're doing good. I just need to keep it up!

Now how about a couple of birthday girl pictures? She had a fabulously PINK party and oh my, we are overrun with Polly Pockets, princesses and fairies. The joy of FIVE!

I made her cake, like I do all of their cakes!DS ready to help her blow out her "5" candle.
Have a few pink presents!
Partied out.