I've never been on such a rollercoaster....

That's my life at the moment. I am just trying to make it from moment to moment. I'm not looking far ahead and trying my damndest not to look back. I am just wishing the days away until there is a day without such worry or chaos. I have to remind myself that we are all healthy (knock on wood) and everyone is doing well. It's a hard thing to do when your future is so uncertain. I also have to remind myself that I took a vow - you know that pesky "for richer or poorer" part. I'm not liking the prospect of the "poorer" at the moment!
Anyway, the risky world of new and independent business. I feel SO helpless. My world is just going along with the usual laundry and housework, dishes and meals, homework and bedtimes. Yet my DH's world is absolutely insane. I keep praying and praying that it will just all work out. That it will just fall into place. At times it looks like it will and other times it looks like it's going to break into a thousand tiny little pieces. I am trying to be a supportive wife and keep telling him that if it CAN be done, he will find a way to do it. I haven't let him know that I'm totally skeptical and that I've cried lots. He certainly doesn't need that on top of the stress he is going through. If it all works out, I will reap the benefits as well and that is about the only thing I hold onto. Inside I am paralyzed with fear that I won't be able to buy Christmas presents for my kids or that they will somehow figure out their world isn't what they are used to. Now, I know that can be a good thing but I'm a MOM and I don't want them to find out the harsh reality of life yet!!
I do KNOW this... my DH will do whatever he can to make sure everything works out. Even if things are hard for awhile, they won't be forever. He is out shakin' that ass trying to make big things happen. I do have confidence in him even when doubts creep into my head.
I know it's all a big vague but I'll hopefully look back at this someday and shake my head, knowing exactly what is going through my mind now. I just hope I'm sitting on a beach, sipping a fruity drink watching my kiddos play in the sand when I'm doing it!