I'm itchy and anxious. I have that "I want to do SOMETHING" feeling. Maybe it's Party-Let-Down? I have all these grand ideas swirling in my head and can't seem to pull one coherent thing toghether. I feel like I'm waiting on something. Part of it is the season. Give a girl a dose of nice weather after some very long dreary days and it will mess with her head. We've had such nice weather it gives me spring fever. It's not the spring fever that makes me want to throw open the windows and deep clean though. I think I got enough of that lately. I am not a gardener at all. I like to look at things but I literally suck at growing things. I have several houseplants that I've had since we got married over 15 years ago but they are the hearty variety that are damn near impossible to kill as long as you water them.
No, I am all jazzed up about helping us build our business. I want to figure something out. FG isn't on the same page. Sure he wants to build up the business but yeah, he's had a really rough week on top of not feeling well (the man does not do sick at all). Having me harp on him about doing more is probably the last thing on earth he's enjoying this week. Since the ideas are just swirling and I don't even have any true idea what I want to do or how I want to do it I think I'll just have to let them stew for awhile.
I'm also high on the social aspect of life yet down on the fact that we have so many aquaintences. I miss the high school days of BFF's. We have lots of friends but we don't have those super-duper close friends that call us and we call them automatically. Does anyone else feel this way or am I being adolescent? Do I need to grow up and figure out that my family is what I've got and that's where it ends? Or do you have those super-duper close friends and I'm the envious outcast in this picture?
While I read blogs in between researching what I can do to get to a better place with both of these issues, I'll continue to plod along with working at the toystore and feeling like my brain is shrinking daily. What happened to me? Was I fooling myself thinking I was intelligent when all along I was just mediocre? I feel like maybe if I took a class of some sort, got more education I would feel like I am doing something. Actually, I think I just need to do something.
"One step must start each journey."
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3 comments:
Your motivation and good intentions are the first steps. That's where it all begins. We have small children. We don't get to have a life right now.
Kidding. Kind of ;)
I was thinking as I was reading your post that you should enroll in a class. :) I get antsy and plan on doing something like that too, maybe taking some painting classes, as soon as the baby/toddler phase is over.
As for friends, I have had close friends like that, but haven't found anyone in our new area that I click with on that level. It's going to take time. I miss having friends that we could call several times a week to come over and just hang out, no agenda needed.
Boy, can I relate to this post. Um...isn't that what prompted my ENTIRE blog?!?! lol!
I think taking some classes is a great idea! I've taken a writing class and am now in a photo class and I love having that push to go further and explore.
The funny thing is, and it's probably b/c of just losing my dad, but I feel like I'm coming full circle. I'm in search of getting OUT of the house and my joy is now coming from being HOME w/my kids! Go figure.
Good luck and keep us posted. Oh, and nope, no BFF couples here either. It's really hard to find a COUPLE that both of you click with each spouse equally as well. And, pathetically, both of us would rather be home hanging out w/each other 90% of the time than out whooping it up. We suck at parties! (That's a future blog post of mine too.) ;)
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